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Toefl- Kids playing computer games; What the parents did, what their children do



s011208 6 / 13  
Dec 9, 2009   #1
Hello, I need some feedback from u ^^

I am not a good writer, and I hope I can learn more.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.

Give specific reasons and details to support your opinion.


With the advance of technology, the ages of people who touch the technology become lower and lower. At the same time, almost all of the parents face the same problem. Is playing computer games waste children's time? I disagree with this statement that playing computer games waste their time.

First of all, it is necessary for children to gain more chances and experience. Playing computer games, children can learn how to face the false and challenge themselves through trials and errors until they attain the goal in computer games. For example, when I was a child, my mother always allowed me to spend time on playing computer games. Although it may lead me to addict in the computer games due to the fact that I lose many times, I gain a lot of sense of achievement, because it urged me to think lots of strategies to beat other players.

Moreover, to enrich children's social life, children get more opportunities to interact with their friends. In modern society, almost all of children tend to share their experience with their friends. One of the experiences is how to get the goal in computer games. If parents disallow their children playing computer games, it may deprive their opportunities to discuss those games with others. For example, my elementary school friend, Joe, did not have any chances to play computer games so that he was lonely no matter where it was, because he did not know what topic he could talk with his classmates.

Last but not least, providing a safe environment for children, parents should enable children to play computer games. In this high tempo era, many parents tend to play computer games on the weekend; however, they do not enable their children playing computer games. What the parents did, what their children do. Prohibiting children playing computer games may give them more excuses to find other occasions playing its. At the same time, they may meet bad friends in diversity of occasions. No people can promise that children will not do wrong things together. The safe way to avoid those problems is that decrease the opportunities to exposure in those bad occasions. Therefore, parents should allow children playing computer games in order to give them safe environments.

For the reasons above, I disagree that playing computer games waste children's time.

yasmin85 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2009   #2
Hi,
also you may try to use new words i.e. other vocabulary
use such as, for instance instead of using for example all the time.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 11, 2009   #3
Here is a quick idea for you:
Is playing computer games waste children's time? Some people state that it is, but I disagree with this statement. that playing computer games waste their time.

Here is another one... "number agreement":
Moreover, to enrich children's social lives , children get more opportunities to interact with their friends.


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