Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Which kind of organisations should carry out scientific research?



tamtran 2 / 4  
Dec 23, 2019   #1

whom to let be in charge of carrying out scientific researches?



Topic:

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

Due to the importance and the difficulty of implementing scientific researches, not many organisations are capable of conducting them. Nowadays, they usually come into the hands of the government and some private organisations. It is argued that governments should be entirely involved in and in charge of those activities rather than corporations. I agree with the view that this should be funded and supervised by the state.

To begin with, there are two possible hidden dangers behind the research implemention by private organisations. The first one is that they might manipulate the results in order to maximise their profits. As follow, some medicines are not tested well before going into the market, and a few processes might be skipped to minimise the expenditure, causing unpredicted side effects. From an ethical perspective, it can lead to severve and long-term social effects. One example can be seen clearly is the Thalidomide disaster. It resulted in the births of thousands of malformed children, which the consequences still remain until now.

On the other hand, if the governments carry out and control those researches, the expenditure can be allocated reasonably and publicly. Moreover, universities are usually in charge of conducting them because they are in the area of expert. When people's benefits are prioritised, it is essential that they take those scientific researches into careful consideration. Therefore, the purpose is more of social driven and there is less bias towards profit earning. One example is the development of renewable resources to meet the growing demands.

To conclude, it is fairly risky to let private organisations be in charge of carrying out scientific researches. Therefore, governments should prioritise the expenditure on those and bear sole responsibility in implementing them.

Maria - / 1096  
Jan 2, 2020   #2
@tamtran
Hi. Thanks for coming back here. Here is my feedback on your writing.

The first part of the essay has to be more straightforward. Considering that this is supposed to be a short essay, you needed to focus more on substantiating information that's more relevant. The introductory sentences could have been shorter and more straight to the thesis statement than what they are now.

When you're using "on the other hand" and other similar linkages, you should have stayed consistent with it. Doing that would improve the aesthetic value of your writing for the long-run.

The conclusion also needs to be sharpened more, especially since what you currently have is still a bit lacking. You needed to provide more insight to the writing.
OP tamtran 2 / 4  
Jan 3, 2020   #3
@Maria
Thank you for your feedback!


Home / Writing Feedback / Which kind of organisations should carry out scientific research?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳