IELTS WRITING TASK 2 WORKBOOK BAND 5.5 - 6.5 UNIT 2 PAGE 16
Nowadays, there are many kinds of food that spread in our country from local until international cuisine. This phenomenon brings both pros and cons especially in health aspect. While some argue that today it is not easy to life healthier, other say that is not difficult for keeping our body healthy. In my opinion, it's tend to be difficult today because of many types of food that offered and others factors.
It is not wrong if some have argument that modern life make all aspect become easy including keeping health. The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. Today we can find just on one click about information of health. For instance, we can look for vegetarian menu, diet tips and tricks, fitness facilities, aerobic clubs, and others. Furthermore, many hospitals, doctors, health experts, and other kinds of facilities are like to be placed everywhere, so it can make us easy to maintain our body.
However, in my view, facilities and other external factor are not useful if people don't have their self-awareness. First of all, today there are many kinds of foods that contain harmful ingredients such as MSG, color substance, natrium benzoate, and others man-made things that created from non-natural substance. Some people also like to consume meat that contain high fat, cholesterol, it is because the tasteful taste of food. Moreover, some food that sell near the street in some food stalls usually not hygiene, but people still buy it because delicious and cheap. Secondly, as a result of fossil fuels combustion, it produces high pollution rate that very dangerous for our respiration system and people often lazy to use nose and mouth cover to protect their body. Third, because of the rapid improvement of technology such as computers and mobile phone, it brings radiation that create negative effect of our brain, even make people lazy to do physical activities, because they can refresh their mind only with their eyes and hand via mobile. It is different form people in the past that like to do sport activities for refreshing their mind.
In conclusion, even though a lot of health facilities and information are easy to access, its tend to be difficult to be healthy and fit because the habit come from their self-awareness.
Hello faiz! I will give you some opinions about your essay.
(1) While some people or others argue that todaynowadays it is not easy to life healthier than before...
(2) In my opinion, it'sit is tend to be difficult today ...
(3) It is not wrong if some people have an argument that modern ...
(3) The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. --> repetitive
(4) For instance, we can look for many information, such as vegetarian menu,...
(5)... not useful if people don'tdo not have their self-awareness.
(6) ... many kinds of foods --> food is an uncountable noun
(7) it is because the tasteful taste of food. --> it is because the food is really tasteful
(8) Moreover, some food that sell near the street [....] with their eyes and hand via mobile. --> You use multiple idea but have no coherence in each idea. I suggest to use one idea paragraph and explain about the reason, the example and the result.
