Nowadays it is not only large companies that can be able to make films

The access to the movie industry

Nowadays it is not only large companies that can be able to make films. Digital technology enables anyone to produce films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is true that there was no individual was capable of shooting films in the old days, except big companies. But now, they can produce their own films through the growing of digital equipment. In my opinion, this changing is the significant advantage for the enhancement of modern advanced technology.

There is no deny that digital film making offers greater possibilities and opportunities to film makers than ever before, especially the young film makers who those with their budget tight. In fact, the digital projection is relatively low cost and user-friendly that allows those to create and produce films by themselves with a financially viable investment. Moreover, it has opened up the door potential development chance for any people in this aspect.

In addition, this trend also creates a lot of job opportunities. For example, with the spread global of the Internet, many individuals produce and distribute their personal movies through YouTube, which is a very famous video sharing channel. This helps them earn much money from its video having high viewing proportion.

Finally, if more individual have the potential to manufacture their own films, it can create numerous films and provide audience with more choices to enjoy. Despite the fact that unlike traditional others, an independent film is frequently delivered through the Internet network without any strict censorship, thus a lot of self-produced films that contain the violence and sexual content, resulting of negatively affecting young viewer, especially children.

In conclusion, I believe that the positives of digital revolution in film industry do outweigh the drawbacks.

Hi,
Here are some comments:

- Your second paragraph seems to answer the wrong question, it doesn't ask you why it is easier to make movies.
- Your talked about the negative side of this trend more that its positive, which makes me unclear of your position throughout the essay.
- The conclusion seems wrong to me too, they don't ask you if the positive side outweight the negative, why did you write that in your concluding sentence?

In my opinion, if you think something is positive, just write about its positive side, it is easier to read and understand your essay.

Your discussion, though grammatically flawed, shows that you have a single focus for your discussion, which is what the reviewer will be looking for in your presentation. Though imperfectly presented your opinion, that digital technology is a positive development can be clearly seen in your discussion paragraphs. However, you should have only used 4 paragraphs for this essay, 2 of which were reasoning presentations. Since this is not a compare and contrast with personal opinion essay, it does not need a 5 paragraph presentation.

There was no need to add a 3rd reason in the discussion. If you had removed the short second reason, your essay would have been stronger. The middle reason was under developed and affected the strength of the overall presentation. You should have also strengthened to conclusion by delivering a proper summary of the topic, discussion, and a repeat of your opinion. That way the essay would have been fully compliant in terms of formatting and discussion presentations.