A leader should admit if they made a bad decision? Toefl exam.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: A leader should admit if they made a bad decision. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is significant to discuss about the controversy on the issue that what a leader should do after they made a bad decision.A fair proportion of people asserts that a leader shouldn't admit the bad decision he made cause that is weak and shame.Other people,nevertheless,advocate that a leader should admit if they made a bad decision.As far as i am concerned i side with the latter,because it is more advisable.Of the countless reasons that strengthen my viewpoint,i will provide the most concrete reasons as follows.

The first reason i'm presenting is that admitting the bad decision is the first step for a leader to correct it.For example,Chinese government once made a very bad decision to build a belt of forest in the northwest with only a single species of tree.Because this action violate the principle of diversity in biology,the project failed and the government lost millions of dollars.Instead of blaming the consequence on other reasons,the government admitted the mistake and asked scholars to make in-depth research on the failure case.Thanks to the humble and honest attitude of our government,there is a dense forest in the northwest today.The forest successfully prevents the storm and thrives the local economy.I learnt a lot from this lesson,the bad decision is not ultimately terrible as long as we have the courage to admit it,to correct it.

Another reason why i would like to vote for the latter is that admitting the mistake can earn the respect and forgiveness. For instance,the Japanese government revises the history about the 2nd World War and even tries to revise its Constitution. This action stimulates the emotion of the Chinese and makes the relationship between the countries embarrassing which harms the benefits of both country. Compared to Japanese government,German government treat the history with sincerity and honesty and thus they earn the forgiveness and respect from all over the world.

Admittedly,a leader always needs a face of strengthen and decision,and sometimes even an undoubted one.However admitting the bad decision is not an action of weakness.It depends on the courage to face our shortage,the sincerity to the people you lead,the decision to explore a better future.

Taking into account of all factors listed above,we can easily draw the conclusion that a leader should admit if they made a bad decision.

Your essay is very rich with relevant information. You've got a lot of ideas and you develop them very well but still need to work on certain grammatical errors like cause in "shouldn't admit the bad decision he made cause that is weak and shame.". Don't use that as a short form of because. I like your and I think it has a clear point and it is easy to follow.

thank you for reading my issue.
but can u point out how to correct my grammar mistakes?do u mean shouldn't admit the bad decision he made cause that is weak and shame.

should not admit the bad decision he made cause that is weak and shame.
u see,i am not a native English user,locate and correct it by myself is not easy.

Adam, let me see how I can help you with the grammar. Anything I strikeout you need to change, I'll mark that in red. My insertions will be in blue, and my comments, in green.


- I would probably have opened this paragraph with a story about a certain politician who made a mistake, refused to admit it, but then admitted his mistake anyway. Then I will mention how his admission affected the public. Then present the question the essay poses with my thesis at the end of it. For example: "When Pres. X was first accused of corruption, X was adamant that he would not resign just because of accusations, he eventually admitted his participation in the activity and resigned. At the time of his resignation, the GDP was on its way up, now it is at its lowest in 2 years. So this makes me wonder, should a leader admit if they have done something wrong or made a bad decision? I believe that he should admit his mistake but of course there are those who would say that an effective leader should not admit any mistakes because of certain reasons. "


- Before you present your reasons, you should first have presented the opposing side. Discuss what the disadvantages are when a leader admits to making a mistake. That way you will have a reason to contradict the reasons they gave. In other words, the supporting reasons will make your opposing reasons valid :-)


- This is a good example for your side of the issue. But use this as a separate paragraph to create a visual idea of how your reasons work for your discussion. First, discuss your reasons in a detailed manner that will fit the example you will be providing.


- You could actually merge these two into your concluding statement.

I hope my suggestions help you to revise the essay. While it does have grammar problems, I believe that those problems can be overlooked at the start of writing an essay in favor of creating a more solid and informative discussion first. When that is done, your grammar problems can be cleaned up :-)

thanks,Vangiespen!I wanna ask,do u think my 1st paragraph is pale and cliche from a professional attitude,or even make u feet antipathetic?

u comments my 3nd paragraph like this
But use this as a separate paragraph to create a visual idea of how your reasons work for your discussion. First, discuss your reasons in a detailed manner that will fit the example you will be providing.

Why does dividing a paragraph into two help?Do u mean that i should provide the cases with more details to support my examples?

- Adam, your first paragraph just felt lacking in content to me. You seemed almost disinterested in the topic and just wanted to get it over with. Which is why I suggested that you revise it using my suggestion. An introduction needs an interesting hook and should capture the reader's attention so that he will continue reading till the end of it.


- By dividing the paragraph into 2 you will be able to better establish your line of reasoning and strengthen your argument.By providing an example separately. you will also have room to present additional evidence to support your claim. Just remember to clearly establish your argument and use acceptable examples and evidence so that you will have academic integrity to support your argument.

Don't hesitate to let me know if you have additional questions. I'll be glad to assist you whenever I can :-)

To begin with, admitting a bad decision is the first step for a leader to correct it.

Because this action violated the principle of diversity in biology,the project failed and the government lost millions of dollars.
I learnt a lot from this lesson;the bad decision is not ultimately terrible as long as we have the courage to admit itand to correct it.


Furthermore, admitting the mistake can earn the respect and forgiveness.

Compared to Japanese government,German government treats the history with sincerity and honesty and, thus they earn the forgiveness and respect from all over the world.

thank you,niesaysi

You makes some really complicated sentence more simple and easy.U have no idea how confusing i am to use a lot if clause but have no idea how to simplify it.

thank you!

i have read that when you write in toefl you should not say "asserts that a leader shouldn't"
should not is better

Thank you Sara!

This is the revision based on my first draft.Thanks a lot to niesaysi&vangiespen. they gave me some valuable suggestions.
i would be grateful if u tell whether or not the following sentences are proper

A fair proportion of people asserts that a leader should not admit the bad decision he made cause that is weak and shame.
Admittedly,a leader always needs a face of strengthen and decision,and sometimes even an undoubted one.

Adam, your sentences are almost grammatically correct. Let me correct some parts for you:-)


... becauseit makes him appear weak and shameful .


-... needs to exude a facade of strength and conviction in his decisions. Even when he is doubting the decision he made himself.

A word of advice, there is always more than one way to say something in written and spoken speech. If you are unsure about the structure, speak it out loudly, then silently. If it sounds wrong to you, it probably is and you should try another way of saying it. That is the only way you can practice expressing yourself in the written and spoken word :-)

conviction!that's the word.
sometimes,I just cannot figure out another way to illustrate my point,even though i am not satisfied with the sentence i wrote.
thank you again!