WRITING TASK 2: LEISURE TIME; activities that improve the mind, or another - to rest the mind

WRITING TASK 2 (LEISURE TIME)

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.
Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.
·You should write at least 250 words.
·You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

When it comes to the mental well-being of a person, it is essential to take some time off work or study. We all have different ways in which we relax our minds whether it be playing basketball or just laying on the couch, watching tv. In my opinion, how we spend our leisure time greatly depends on one's perspective.

After a long day of exhaustion, it is vital to do some activity that is beneficial for the body. For instance, reading a book improves one's reading skills while diverting one's attention from work and stress. On the other hand, people who work all day glued to their seats might want to do some physical activity to relax their mind and body. These activities could be anything from swimming to taking their dog on a walk.

It may be argued that watching tv is far more relaxing than reading a book, however, It's all about one's lifestyle. People who read habitually don't find it burdensome to read a book, it's far more entertaining than television for them. Aforementioned, this is the reason how people spend their leisure time depends on their lifestyle and preferences. There are no defined rules when it comes to leisure activities.

In conclusion, it is best to work on our mental and physical health in our free time. It is imperative for the body to do some physical exercise to function properly. Especially, for students or people who work in offices; it is best to go out and get some fresh air. It is scientifically proven that a change in the surrounding helps people release stress.

This is the first essay I wrote for IELTS academic writing. I would be grateful if you could give feedback.

The instruction asks you to provide an agreement with one of the 2 opinions after discussing the public supportfor each opinion. The essay does not properly identify the public . explanations in the discussion. There are all leased on a personal . which means it will fail the test. To properly discuss this topic the writer must use 3 explanatory paragraphs covering 3rd pronoun and 1st person discussions of:

Paragraph 2: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind

Paragraph 3: Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time

Paragraph 4: The side the writer agrees with / personal opinion

For a total of 5 paragraphs. The personal opinion should use a comparative discussion form to show an analysis of both public opinions and how it influenced the writer's choice. The formula:

Public opinion 1 ÷ Public Opinion 2 = Personal opinion

should be used in the analytical discussion.

@aestheticluv
i think your essay should focus more on the object mentioned in the topic question. In your essay, the sentence paraphrasing the topic is not successfully made, in my opinion.