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Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

YuTingJim 1 / -  
Jul 15, 2017   #1

advanced technology brings problems

With rapid development of technology, the life becomes more convenient and comfortable, while some people think that it can be much better when the technology was not that complicated. Although the modern technology put a quick rhythm in our lives and much pressure, I consider it is still greater to live in the present.

For one thing, technology transformed the transportation over the whole world. Without the transportation we use everyday. It's hard to imagine that how people could get to the workplace without delaying. If everything is operated smoothly in companies, the company can reach their expected goals quickly. Moreover, it makes employees have more flexible time to communicate with each other and do leisure activities, which can lighten their pressure in lives.

For another, communications between people are getting better with technology. Some people may oppose to this since there are no face-to-face talks between people. In addition, many messages are involved only the emoji and some really simple words, which are typed just by our fingers. However, many communicating applications haves solved the problem such as Lines and Facebook. They give people an opportunity to see the person they want to talk to no matter where they. With these correspondent devices, people can get access to the information globally.

The reasons given above are just a few of the many that can illustrate how technology provides people with a better life. It is of great significance that if we control the pace of life by ourselves and use the technology appropriately, we can assure that we live a better life nowadays.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Jul 15, 2017   #2
@YuTingJim the approach you have taken to the discussion of this essay is faulty. Note that the prompt specifically asks for the "extent" of your agreement or disagreement with the statement. Therefore, your opinion should be stated in the something similar to the following manner; "I disagree with the opinion that life was better when technology was simpler. The extent of my disagreement is based upon several reasons that I will be discussing in the following paragraphs." There is also a problem with your paraphrasing of the prompt topic for discussion. Your first sentence should have been presented as 2 separate sentences because there are 2 separate thoughts being presented in it. Therefore, each separate thought requires a separate sentence. A comma or the word "and" can only be used in a sentence if it is going to be representing 2 connected or interrelated thoughts. Since you are depicting two types of thought, you need to separate the sentences. You must also learn to properly summarize your discussion by correctly representing another version of the paraphrased statement, a comprehensive listing of your reasons, and a closing sentence. The closing sentence can be something as simple as "In conclusion..." at the start of the paragraph. Please refrain from introducing new information, as you did in this essay, within the conclusion as the concluding statement is never used to present additional information or opinions in the essay. That is academically unacceptable and will lower your final score.

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