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When you live in a major city you can learn many features of the whole society



Shsiao 1 / 1  
Mar 31, 2018   #1
Hi reader,
It is a GRE issue practice, i am trying to make it persuasive.
the statement of the issue "To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities."
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big city as a complete picture of society?



The statement addresses that the city have most essential characteristic of society. It is widely accept that in the major city you can study many features of society. However, if we broadly think about the spectrum of human history, we are beginning from gathering in the cave and gradually build the village or town. Society formed while people working and living together. The process takes years, sometime required hundred years or more. Only till recent, some of the human are living in the city.

To understand a society must study its major city, but it also have to looks closely to the rural area. City carries many society characteristics. For example, by the high population density, we can know the way they communicating to each other. We can taste the best cuisine in their culture and we can observe the ambience of society. Take my personal experience for example. Tokyo and Taipei both have its distinctive qualities. Tokyo's resident have faster pace and people are usually very polite. While you are living or working at there, usually you can feel an anxiety because of heavy workload and tiny living cabin. And as everyone knows, Japanese people love sushi. On another hand, Taipei is subtropical capital. People are talking to each other louder than Japanese and most of foreigner describes Taipei as an easygoing city. Due to its higher average temperature, cold drink vendors are everywhere.

On the other hand, village preserves many society traits, which is different from city. Many orthodox society actions only can be found in rural area. Rural resident are farming and grazing for survival. They follow their ancestor's way to live and eat. Take cuisine for example, the tradition way of cook, like using earth oven, is only remaining in the rural village. Although such a maneuver takes several hours to prepare a meal, the taste is distinctive from the fancy restaurant food. The household is different since countryside usually have larger land which allow family to live together and take care each other. In addition, the values are parted widely from their city relatives, and either the concept of society. Overlook the countryside society will not give you overall understanding of a society.

Urban environment usually removes the tradition society virtue, because the city dweller needs to adjust for commercialization and globalization. This means the people, who live in the city, have to follow the fast business step and hustle life style. People have to finish their meal fast because they have only one-hour lunch break. They don't have time for the time-consuming lunch. Many urban dwellers are forced living restrict space because of exorbitant house price. High-speed online chat replaces old-fashion visiting or mailing. The society in urban area adapts the modern challenge. This adaption creates a society, which varies from country society. Lots of culture characteristics can no longer able to be found in the city area.

For conclusion, neither city nor village can give a complete picture of society. Although city shows you a lot of angles about a society, rural country preserve great information about their culture. The best way to understand a society need to observe from many subject, from the food, behavior, language and etc. No single aspect can provide whole idea about a society. The one want to study society have to work in city and village.

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Like to hear your comment
sincerely regard
Hsiao

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Apr 1, 2018   #2
Hsiao, I am of the opinion that this type of GRE presentation will only score a 4 due to a number of errors on your part. Don't get me wrong, you provided an acceptable argument for the provided topic and your reasoning is clear enough. The problem is in your actual presentation and the grammatical errors that you essay contains. The weak sentence development within the presentation affects the way that the reader understands your statements. Try to increase your skill in developing properly worded English sentences that have proper subject - verb agreement presentations. In addition to that, you must also train yourself to use transition sentences at the end of one sentence to help introduce a continuation, but change in topic discussion in the upcoming paragraph. The transition affects the smoothness of the discussion presentation and is required to help prepare the reader for upcoming information. Your reasoning development needs to have a more concise presentation. I suggest that you do that by trying to divide your explanations, reasons, and examples into separate paragraphs. That way you create a smoother and more connected paragraph discussion flow. This could have been at least a 5 essay if the aforementioned problems with your presentation did not hamper your presentation of the discussion.
OP Shsiao 1 / 1  
Apr 2, 2018   #3
I check this essay by following you advice. I found that there are many thing I can do better.
Thanks Holt!


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