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IELTS TASK 2: living in foreign countries and language issue


linhchin 4 / 7 1  
Jul 23, 2019   #1

local language knowledge



Living in a country where you have to speak in a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People migrate to foreign countries in order to find better works and living condition. While I agree that moving like this may cause social problems as well as practical problems, I do not think that these issues are too serious to be solved.

On the one hand, it is true that migrators may have to face many problems when they live in a foreign country. Firstly, they may find communicating with local people difficult due to language barriers and simple daily activities, such as going to the grocery store, can become a huge task. Secondly, they may experience misunderstandings at work or in their neighborhood because of culture differences. For example, not bowing when greeting older people is normal in Vietnam but in Korea, it may be considered rude and disrespectful. Lastly, outlanders may struggle in making friends or having new relationships in a foreign country, which may lead to the feeling of loneliness, homesickness and stress.

However, I believe that the above-mentioned problems are not serious since it is short-lived and can be prevented with some preparations before migrating. For instance, to avoid culture shock, migrators can look up for local movies, music or history on the internet to understand more about indigenous people and way of life there. They can also attend language classes and practice with native people to make sure they understand basic phrases before moving. Personally, I believe that if migrators have good preparations and are willing to learn new things, living in a country where they have to speak a foreign language would not be a serious problem to them.

In conclusion, although there are social and practical problems that immigrant might have to face, I believe that these are not serious and can be solved easily.

On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate my essay? Thanks for your help

jocelyn wang 3 / 6 4  
Jul 23, 2019   #2
Hi,

Here are some of my opinions for your reference.

It's an indeed well-structured article. I can see that you bring out a question on 2nd paragraph, and then answer it on 3rd.
However, it seems a little bit off-topic. Maybe it would be better to try to relate all the problems with language rather than the culture that you mention in the article. Or you can try this way: knowing a local language is a key to understand the culture, as a result, the immigrants can fit in society faster. This point can also respond to "social problems" in the question.

I googled for the sample of this question and find one that the opinion is similar to you. Hope it would help you.
ielts-practice/having-to-speak-a-foreign-language-can-cause-serious-problems-band-9-ielts-essay-sample/
Besides, here is the other good example that focuses more on how the writer agrees or disagrees on social problems and practical problems caused by language barriers.

Best wishes,
Jocelyn
Maria [Contributor] - / 1,068 377  
Jul 23, 2019   #3
@linhchin
Hello there. Let me provide you with writing feedback on this essay.

Firstly, I would improve on the overall tone of your essay. Notice how some portions appear to be informal because of your phrasing. For instance, in the first paragraph, you can try rephrasing the last line differently in order to attain a stronger front for your writing. What instead can you say aside from these issues being "too serious to be solved"?

Secondly, the next paragraph has quite an off-putting approach when it comes to laying down the details. Aside from pointing everything out from one end to another, try to merge altogether your thoughts to appear less cluttered overall. If you do this, you'll have more an integrated approach to writing rather than a disorganized discernment.

Best of luck as always.


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