It is no longer necessary to use animal-based products for human - agree or disagree

animal-based products on the market

In contemporary society, using animal-based products is unnecessary for people choosing. I entirely agree with this statement by the following explanation.

The first reason in favor of my argument is that slaughtering animals for clothing and medicines is inhumane. The first is people kill the animals just because their skins can make exorbitant carpetbaggers and bring great profit to their company. Furthermore, testing animals in particular medical and beauty fields receives conflicting opinions on whether it is compulsory since cosmetics tested on animals and animal-derived medicines partially guarantee whether you will be allergic to them. In the market, many beauty brands commit that they do not use animals for testing their products called cruelty-free brands.

Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, two other reasons should be discussed. Another reason supporting my view is that thanks to the advent of technology, people do not need much meat in their life. Some meat-eaters think that eating vegetables is not enough nutrition and experience vitamin deficiencies which are the opposite view. Cutting-edge technologies help plant-based foods get full of essential nutrients that humans need in daily diets, limiting the intake of meat in residents. In addition, herbal remedies can completely replace animal-derived medicines because of being used for a period in which we do not suffer decreased brain volume or fatigue.

In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I firmly hold the view that we can change the majority of a meat diet to vegetables, and that does not do us any harm to health later.

I would be grateful to receive your responses.

I do not know where to begin with the review of this essay. The writing is just so bad that it simply will not pass had this exercise been done as an actual test. It is important that the test taker understand that I am acknowledging the effort placed in the writing of the essay but the effort was not enough to meet passing standards.

The main problem that I can see is related to the coherence of the presentation. A lack of clear thought presentation prevented a proper understanding of the paragraphs. Cohesive devices were not properly utilized either. I suspect these problems are related to the lack of proper vocabulary usage and little control over sentence presentations. The overall presentation is choppy, confusing, and connected topics require better in- paragraph development.

Redundancies and a lack of proper restatement and opinion presentation are actually the least of the problems the essay has. Although these are still immediate presentation problems.