Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

There is a lot of remedial steps that can be done to reduce crime rate - IELTS2


broibra 17 / 19 3  
Dec 7, 2015   #1
Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Criminal record has increased in the last few years. This affects many individuals in various levels, frequently producing fear and many victims. I believe this is caused by economic factors and unemployment which make this stuff happens. Therefore, make a lot of the job vacancies and improve the performance of police to control the crime rate down.

Criminal act is caused by two main significant factors. The dominant factor that results in many criminal acts is the economic situation. For example, Parents who are poor may not be able to give their children in school and lack of education can lead to juvenile crime. Another cause is the number of people who are lazy to work and lack of job vacancy. According to the BBC, 5.4 percent of people in the age 16 years old and over are unemployment. As a results for this reason, the crime rate increasing and unavoidable.

As far as I am concerned, there are potential strategies to fight the criminal activity. First, the provision of employment opportunities needs to be improved by new work fields. Also, the police force has to be an important part in society in terms of reducing the crime rate. There must be an increase in the number of police and skills development for police to control of offence and criminal acts.

The evidence shows that although crime is a serious problem, there was a lot of remedial steps that can be done to reduce it. It is important that if this above done and can be calculated, because it can decrease and reduce the root of crime.

ab0m1nat10n 1 / 1  
Dec 7, 2015   #2
This is caused by economic factors and unemployment. Therefore, job vacancies should be increased and the efficiency and performance of the police should be improved, in order to keep the crime rate down.

criminal act is caused by.. <-- this isn't useful as you have already stated this in your introduction. So instead, jump to the next sentence by saying 'Primarily, the current economic situation forces the general population to commit crimes.

Lack of education can lead to juvenile crime due to the fact that they cannot get a job and therefore resort to committing crimes.


Home / Writing Feedback / There is a lot of remedial steps that can be done to reduce crime rate - IELTS2