Please I need help editing this essay.It's just a template I'm using for schools that'll ask why I want to study engineering!Tell me what you think!Thanks!
When I was a kid, my father had a small farm in our backyard where he grew crops as a subsistence farmer. I watched him put seeds in holes and I watched them transform into tall plants; it was a scintillating thing to observe. Out of childish exuberance, I built my own little farm beside my father's .I started out with beans, rice and pea seeds. I planted a portion of my farm with each of these seeds. I watered them daily like my dad did. I watched them germinate and after some days I saw them produce seeds as I expected. Out of random curiosity I decided to count the number of seeds on each type of plant on a regular 7-day interval. I then noted the numbers in my scrap book after each period. My curiosity led me further to consider whether exactly the same data would appear on paper if I repeated the planting of each crop. I tried it out and to my amazement, every single datum I had written down was consistent. My young mind became enthused on how I could predict the workings of nature. I decided to use what I had learnt to give myself a new challenge: I created an imaginary family in my head that I would provide a certain amount of seeds on some arbitrary interval I set. Using basic arithmetic ,I knew the amount of each portion of crop I had to plant to fit into the target number of seeds .I again became excited on how everything worked out. But my new found knowledge came yet with another hurdle. Pea plants could ,in the long run ,produce seeds about the same size as those of rice and beans, but their initial production rate was low because they took a much longer time to germinate. Therefore, if I had to cater for this imaginary family on a short run, I had to reduce the amount of pea plants I had so as to cultivate more of the other crops. This, for a ten year old me, was challenging to figure out because I hadn't yet known how to use the basic algebra I learnt at school in real life. I ,however ,counted with stones and used intuition to wriggle my way through this problem. More and more obstacles emerged; I savored demystifying them ,but little did I know that I was applying the scientific and engineering process of thinking. Scientific in the sense that I made an observation, proposed an hypothesis, tested it ,and successfully arrived at a conclusion. Engineering in the sense that I applied and manipulated my scientific knowledge to increasingly and efficiently provide for my imaginary family. However, it took secondary school to discover what both schools of thought were about.
'Sir, are there any other things we can try?' I asked.
'Yes but you have to discover for yourself. There are not much resources here for juniors'
'But I can give you a software that will help,' He continued.
'Yes I want it!'I replied enthusiastically.
It was my first year in junior secondary school, and my first experience in a laboratory. My integrated science teacher had just finished taking us on a laboratory science tour .From the commencement of the tour to the last experiment he performed-in which he used lemon fruits to power a bulb-I was amazed .I wanted to be more erudite in science. He gave me the software and when I got home the first thing I did was to use the family computer, which I considered mine(it had plethora of video games and superhero comics I made myself). I installed the software ,and it instituted my quest to explore the world of science. From then till now, I've not stopped inquiring. I have not evolved from being that boy that owned his little farm.
I love science because I'm curious. It also satisfies my obstinate penchant for solving problems. I may know how to ,say, solve the problem of an oscillating pendulum using Newtonian vector differential equation of motion, or calculate the molecular geometry of Nitrogen with MO theory ,but it doesn't stop there for me. I try to visualize more, even if it takes days, of something new. I might fail but ,surely ,neuroplasticity has created new pathways in my brain that will be useful in handling future difficulties. I am, however, more of what Richard Feynman would call an applied scientist. I engage in science not just because I enjoy it but also because I want to apply it in the real world. This is why I want to be an engineer. I want to venture deeper. I want to be involved hands-on in improving human life. And I believe ------- university can help me fulfil this dream. I have not yet decided what field of engineering I will delve into but mechanical ,EE, and chemical engineering still remain top on my list: they will best employ my mathematical vigour.
When I was a kid, my father had a small farm in our backyard where he grew crops as a subsistence farmer. I watched him put seeds in holes and I watched them transform into tall plants; it was a scintillating thing to observe. Out of childish exuberance, I built my own little farm beside my father's .I started out with beans, rice and pea seeds. I planted a portion of my farm with each of these seeds. I watered them daily like my dad did. I watched them germinate and after some days I saw them produce seeds as I expected. Out of random curiosity I decided to count the number of seeds on each type of plant on a regular 7-day interval. I then noted the numbers in my scrap book after each period. My curiosity led me further to consider whether exactly the same data would appear on paper if I repeated the planting of each crop. I tried it out and to my amazement, every single datum I had written down was consistent. My young mind became enthused on how I could predict the workings of nature. I decided to use what I had learnt to give myself a new challenge: I created an imaginary family in my head that I would provide a certain amount of seeds on some arbitrary interval I set. Using basic arithmetic ,I knew the amount of each portion of crop I had to plant to fit into the target number of seeds .I again became excited on how everything worked out. But my new found knowledge came yet with another hurdle. Pea plants could ,in the long run ,produce seeds about the same size as those of rice and beans, but their initial production rate was low because they took a much longer time to germinate. Therefore, if I had to cater for this imaginary family on a short run, I had to reduce the amount of pea plants I had so as to cultivate more of the other crops. This, for a ten year old me, was challenging to figure out because I hadn't yet known how to use the basic algebra I learnt at school in real life. I ,however ,counted with stones and used intuition to wriggle my way through this problem. More and more obstacles emerged; I savored demystifying them ,but little did I know that I was applying the scientific and engineering process of thinking. Scientific in the sense that I made an observation, proposed an hypothesis, tested it ,and successfully arrived at a conclusion. Engineering in the sense that I applied and manipulated my scientific knowledge to increasingly and efficiently provide for my imaginary family. However, it took secondary school to discover what both schools of thought were about.
'Sir, are there any other things we can try?' I asked.
'Yes but you have to discover for yourself. There are not much resources here for juniors'
'But I can give you a software that will help,' He continued.
'Yes I want it!'I replied enthusiastically.
It was my first year in junior secondary school, and my first experience in a laboratory. My integrated science teacher had just finished taking us on a laboratory science tour .From the commencement of the tour to the last experiment he performed-in which he used lemon fruits to power a bulb-I was amazed .I wanted to be more erudite in science. He gave me the software and when I got home the first thing I did was to use the family computer, which I considered mine(it had plethora of video games and superhero comics I made myself). I installed the software ,and it instituted my quest to explore the world of science. From then till now, I've not stopped inquiring. I have not evolved from being that boy that owned his little farm.
I love science because I'm curious. It also satisfies my obstinate penchant for solving problems. I may know how to ,say, solve the problem of an oscillating pendulum using Newtonian vector differential equation of motion, or calculate the molecular geometry of Nitrogen with MO theory ,but it doesn't stop there for me. I try to visualize more, even if it takes days, of something new. I might fail but ,surely ,neuroplasticity has created new pathways in my brain that will be useful in handling future difficulties. I am, however, more of what Richard Feynman would call an applied scientist. I engage in science not just because I enjoy it but also because I want to apply it in the real world. This is why I want to be an engineer. I want to venture deeper. I want to be involved hands-on in improving human life. And I believe ------- university can help me fulfil this dream. I have not yet decided what field of engineering I will delve into but mechanical ,EE, and chemical engineering still remain top on my list: they will best employ my mathematical vigour.