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THE MAIN CONCERN IS REDUCTION OF SPECIES OR OTHER ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS?



huonglydg 1 / -  
Mar 13, 2020   #1
Hi, I am doing the task 2 writing of IELTS exam practices. I have attached the full task requirement in the picture below. Thanks for your help!

the most critical environmental problems



Views often differ on whether the reduction of the floral and fauna is more vital or there are more crucial environmental concerns. Personally, I would argue that environmental problems is an umbrella term which includes several issues, not only plants and animals.

The first group of people believe that the dominant current natural problems of our time is the decreased amount of plants and animals. There are a lot of polar bears are facing the death because of being starved, when there is insufficient food in the two poles of the globe. Many forests are devastated by droughts, floods or fires and they can not survive. A lot of species are at the near extinction.

However, I would be inclined to argue against this as I think the reasons that leads to those consequences are the climate change and pollution problems. The global temperature is getting higher and higher everyday. It melts the ice in two poles, it causes many forest fires and these contribute to severed destruction of many plants and animals' living habitats. Human is not in the exception when being impacted substantially by air, water, soil, even noise pollutions. Polluted rivers, atmosphere, or non-biodegradeable plastics are buried underneath the ground are also significant matters. Thus, we should prioritize the the climate change and pollution concerns over their consequences.

To sum up, apart from the mass extinction of natural species, we should also pay attention to the climate and pollution problems. Facing this challenging obstacles, all humanity should cut down on economic benefits and be more eco-friendly.


  • This is the task requirement


Phuongbo 4 / 9  
Mar 13, 2020   #2
severed destruction
... plastics are buried underneath the ground are also significant matters----> two verbs
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15357  
Mar 14, 2020   #3
It is highly possible that your essay would only get a 4 maximum scoring bracket. There are several reasons for this possible score:

- The prompt paraphrase is incomplete as it does not represent the two points of view in the paraphrase.
- An opinion was provided for the discussion in the prompt paraphrase when no comparison of the points of view were done yet.
- The reasoning paragraphs only cover one public point of view and a persona point of view. The second point of view was not discussed in a separate paragraph as required by the prompt instructions.

- The conclusion is not a reasoning summary. Instead it offers a continuing discussion of reasons within the essay. This is an open ended essay.

When the spelling and grammar issues are considered along with the TA errors, it appears that there cannot be a higher score than 4 for this type of presentation.


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