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What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? IELTS TASK 2


HanNguyen0510 17 / 36 9  
Feb 5, 2018   #1
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
(250 words)


Pros and Cons of Immigration



Nowadays, immigration has a magnificent role in some countries and affects the society. The advantages of the immigration are that they have been influent economy development as well as have increased the country's population. In contrast, that has brought some consequences such as discrimination, social maladies, and culture-crossing problem.

The enormous benefits of immigrant are to obtain the high-quality skilled workers, which stimulates the economy. Immigration labor is essential to those whose majority population is the old and retired people. In addition, in some country such as Singapore, where there are no natural resources, immigrants are the main sources of their development. It is believed that immigration could be one of the factors to balance the population of the country such as Canada or Japan due to either of the high percentage of retirement or the inclement weather.

Apart from those advantages, there are some instant obstacles regardless of immigration. Discrimination is supposed to appear between local residences and the immigrants no matter how well is the manipulation of the government. It might cause violation and crime. Besides that, social maladies have apparently increased rapidly because of the cross-culture and religions. Those reasons could lead to terrorism, which is the main concern of some developed countries. Culture diversity would also become a restraint in controlling the society.

In general, in a comparison to the consequences of immigration, its benefit is much higher. That is one of the quickest and most efficient to maintain the population as well as trigger the economy.

Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Feb 5, 2018   #2
Hi Han, seeing from the prompt that you provided, I believe it is a cause and effect essay rather than advantages vs disadvantages. Misunderstanding the prompt would render you to suffer points loss heavily. In the second paragraph, you are referring Singapore so you should continue with it. If, however, you insist to add other countries for its reference, you can add Canada and Japan next to Singapore so the reader does not need to keep switching places.

Besides that, when you are stating one example, you should always stick with that throughout the entire paragraph.

Hope that helps.
Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Feb 8, 2018   #3
Han, it appears to me that you are using English words that just sound nice to you but you do not really understand the meaning of. In the opening statement, you use the term "magnificent" to describe the role of immigration. Magnificent means " something exceptional", which does not apply to immigration because there is nothing exceptional about it. Here lies the problem with the IELTS test. Since it scores you specifically on your vocabulary use in the Lexical Resource section, every time you use a word in the wrong context, you will lose points for the use of the wrong word. Don't just use the English words haphazardly. Make sure you use only words that you know the meaning of to explain yourself. Use simple English words. Don't try to gain scoring potential by simply using "big" sounding words that do not apply to your sentence meaning because you could fail the test because of it. Confusing sentences such as " The advantages of the immigration are that they have been influent economy development as well as have increased the country's population." will also lower your coherence and cohesiveness score in a manner that will further assure you of a failing score.

Since this is a single opinion essay based on the negative / consequences of immigration, you have deviated from the discussion and shown that you did not understand the discussion instructions because you chose to write an essay about the benefits and drawbacks of immigration. Again, this will be a Task Accuracy deviation and guess what? Yep, another score deduction. You are not leaving anything in this essay to get you a passing score at this point. Your every approach has been wrong from the very start of the essay.

Consider reading the sample essays in the Similar Discussion link of this topic so that you can get a better idea as to how to discuss this essay. Learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others so that you can improve in your writing. I hope that you can show some progress with your next attempt.


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