The main role of museums - they should be enjoyable places to entertain people?

Topic: Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Museums purposes

Essay: People have been for ages pondering the main role of museums. While some say that museums should create an entertaining atmosphere for visitors, others believe that museums should only be used to educate people. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and voice my personal opinions.

It can be argued that people should use museums for educational purposes. Well-performed scholars attend the museums to expand their arsenals of knowledge on a regular basis. Moreover, the curriculum which is conducted in museums also advocates young children to study about historical values easily. This can be seen in the US where exhibitions provide visitors with information about national victories, artifacts, weapons, etc. As a result, it is relevant to say museums should be accompanied by educational goals.

Conversely, I strongly believe that museums should pertain joy for the aim of satisfying tourists. Museums are widely considered as national tourist attractions. If museums are capable of creating an entertaining atmosphere, visitors will unlikely to resist this kind of entertainment, especially youngsters who prefer amusement to education. Additionally, the trend which museums with humorous, funny theme are spring up with a fast pace in these days. For instance, chocolate museum in Belgium, or video game museum in America, etc. Subsequently, education can actually be acquired through enjoyment. It is said that because visitors will inculcate historical stories, mythology which perceive national values rapidly rather than just a conventional lecture.

In conclusion, I reckon that each kind has its own merits and museums should develop equally both aspects mentioned.

Can you help me to check my essay? and a suggested band score if possible. thanks a lot.

Minh, the essay that you wrote does not completely cover the task requirements. The prompt instructions clearly request you to provide a discussion of both points of view as well as a personal opinion at the end. What you wrote covers only one point of view and then a personal opinion. This indicates a lack of discussion accuracy on your part which means you failed to accurately meet the task requirements. If you review your thesis sentence at the end of the paraphrase, you indicated a 2 point of view and a personal opinion discussion. That is what you were expected to present but failed to do so.

Your concluding statement is too short to be considered a full summary of the previous discussion. It should contain a reverse of the prompt paraphrase in the presentation. So it should indicate:

1. A repeat of the prompt paraphrase
2. A summary of the discussion points
3. Repeat of the personal opinion
4. Closing sentence

This essay is not very well presented nor developed. Based on the criteria for scoring, this may only score anywhere between a 4-5 in an actual test. You have time and room for improvement. Don't be disheartened. Read the sample here and continue to practice. I'll help you improve your writing style and guide you towards increasing your score over the series of practice essays that you will be writing.