We should make factories and other forms of industry pay for all the pollution that they have caused

TOPIC:- Most pollution, especially air and water pollution, is caused by industry. If we want to protect the environment, we should make factories and other forms of industry pay for all the pollution that they have caused. That is the only way to make sure that the owners will make a serious effort to reduce the pollution that they cause. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

who is to blame for the environmental pollution?

It is quite evident that industries are the biggest contributor for all types of pollution like, air, water etc.. In order to safeguard the environment, these industries should pay for the damage, they have caused. This is an ideal solution to create a sense of responsibility amongst the owners to reduce the pollution. I completely agree with this idea.

In my opinion, imposing heavy taxes and strict penalties to the industries following unhealthy practices leading to environmental issues is the most efficient way to reduce pollution. This will force the industry owners to restrict such activities leading to decline in pollution level and enforce green surroundings. Moreover, due to this step they will incorporate advanced and environmentally friendly techniques which would significantly contribute to the overall growth of the country and provide a better and healthy future.

Furthermore, incorporating such measures would help develop a sense of social responsibility amongst the industry owners. It is observed that the humans are resistant to change. However, these forced changes will make them aware about the criticality of the issue and its adverse damages in the long run. They will be inspired to become more responsible in eradicating these malpractices. Henceforth, developing trust and harmony amongst the citizens and increase the happiness quotient of the country.

In a nutshell, making the industry owners accountable for this negative development is the best way to tackle environmental issues, like air, water pollution etc.. It is a win-win solution for both the owners as well as the country by providing a healthy environment and advanced environmentally friendly techniques to run industrial operations. Henceforth, in my opinion, such actions should be encouraged for an environmentally-safe future.

Chinky, the opening paraphrase that you presented is strong and impressive. However, you need to remain within the prompt requirements and indicate that this is not your sentiment. You cannot begin your discussion in the opening paraphrase portion. That is why your opening paraphrase is wrong in presentation. You must always indicate the original discussion by referencing it in your paraphrase. Hence;

It is said that industries are the major sources of air and water pollution. That is why there is a proposal that, in order to protect nature, these corporations should be held responsible for their actions. That means, having them pay for the impurities that they release into our environment. I am in strong agreement with this proposal for a number of reasons.

This type of presentation will increase your TA score and boost the rest of your scoring considerations in the process. I will not fault your body of paragraphs because those are highly effective in presentation and shows a clear grasp of the prompt topic, its discussion process, and your ability to use the English language in accomplishing those requirements.

I would like to point out though that this is an academic paper and as such, you must never be caught using the term "etc." which means "and so on and so forth" because that shows a non academic sentence development. Additionally, you need to double check your punctuation marks because you have a double period after the "etc" part. Small mistakes like that will greatly decrease your GRA scores. Be very careful presentation wise. Never lose the academic tone and presentation format.

Dear Chinky, your essay seemed nice to me. However, I can give you some suggestions that you might want to consider.
You may amend your essay with reconsidering these:
'etc.."
"amongst" 3 times! Alternatives: among/between/amidst
"environmentally friendly" 2 times.
and etc.
There are a few words you could replace with other words. You can use power thesaurus website.

And here some good alternative words I try to use instead of "for". It make the essay more eye catching. Here you go:
beneficial to
concerning
conducive to
in consideration of
supposing
during
for the sake of
in favor of
in furtherance of
in order to
in place of
in pursuance of
in the direction of
in the interest of
in terms of
in an effort/attempt to