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Marriage Partners: similar or not?

dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 4, 2010   #1
I'm preparing for toefl. Pls give a feedbakc for this essay;

QUESTION; Some people believe that marriage partners should be very similar to themselves. Other believe such similarity is not needed. What is your opinion?

In my native language there is a saying, "No two men are alike". I agree with this saying and believe that I would not find a marriage partner who is similar to me in every respect. Such an expectation would be far from reality. However, I believe that marriage partners need compatibility at least in some of their psychological traits such as attitudes, values and perceptions in order to maintain a sound relationship through out their married life.

To begin with, it is important that partners have compatible attitudes for a happy wedded life. For example, I like being helpful to others because I think it is a worthy cause. If my husband too appreciates this inclination of mine, I would be more encouraged and it helps strengthen our relationship further. On the other hand, if he is against my helpfulness towards outsiders and expect me to concentrate only on family, then we may have lots of clashes and unpleasant arguments.

In addition, marriage partners should have compatibility in their perceptions too. For example, I perceive that any form of discrimination with regard to gender, race, religion or cast is very wrong. I also have many close friends who are from diverse backgrounds. However, if my husband has prejudices over such differences, then I would be in a very difficult situation. This would certainly cause many disputes between us in our life together.

More over, it is important that I and my marriage partner have similar tastes in order to enjoy many happy moments together. I am a lover of classical music and I once have been actively participating in classical music concerts. Suppose my husband has no tolerance towards this form of art and he always criticizes and looks down upon it. I would be very hurt in such a scenario. This may compel me to give up my pleasure of listening to such music in order to keep peace and harmony at home front. This would not make our relationship an enjoyable one. Instead, it would be rather a strenuous relationship.

Although it is not possible to have a marriage partner who is very similar to my character, I believe that we should at least have some similarities in terms of our attitudes, perceptions and tastes. If we are compatible in these psychological attributes, I believe other differences such as differences in our social backgrounds, educational levels, wealth etc. can be fought out with the help of love and understanding. After all, the marriage is a life time relationship between two people which they should enjoy instead of straining the relationship. For such a relationship, the partners need to similarities in their attitudes, perceptions and tastes.
linying 5 / 14  
Oct 5, 2010   #2
Hello! De Silva,
I am also preparing for toefl. I have to admit that your essay is high quality. You are really goot at using transitions such as "in addition" and "moreover"... and these words make your essay conjunct. However, there are still something that you need to improve.

I know that your point is very clear. Maybe you can adjust the order of the body so that the logic of your essay can go deeper and deeper. And some specific facts may make your essay more persuasive, like take some example of famous people.

As for the hypothesis, I think you'd better use the subjective mood. For instance,

"If my husband tooappreciatesappreciated this inclination of mine, I would be more encouraged and it would help strengthen our relationship further."

Detials:"More over, it is important that my marriage partner and I have similar tastes in order to enjoy many happy moments together. "

Hope these advices can help you and good luck!
lin yingb
singcarcom 1 / 14  
Oct 5, 2010   #3

I think your essay is great. :)

Since you have focused alot on various aspects where similarity is good, would you like to touch on other points of arguments?

E.g. How being too similar can be a problem. If both of the marriage partners are very stubborn, then what will happen when they quarrel? No one will give in.

Or how two indecisive ppl marry then they'll be indecisive in making choices for the household.

Being different but complementary can also be a good thing. If the husband always focuses on the big picture, perhaps it is better that his wife is meticulous and looks into details. In this way, while they're different, they actually suit each other.

Sorry for rambling on. Just some points for your consideration. Hope it'll help.
mea505 - / 265  
Oct 5, 2010   #4
While I agree with most of what the others have said about your essay, I think you did a wonderful job in describing the reasons why you think the way you do. In other words, you just didn't tell the reader that you think a certain way, you told us why you think a certain way. And, that's important when writing an essay. It's important not only to describe your feelings, but also to let the reader know why you feel a certain way. You used a lot of examples in your essay, which is also very important. I think you did a marvelous job. The only other critical issue I have with the essay, aside from what the others have already said is that the word "more over" is not two words, it is generally only one word -- "moreover."

Otherwise, it is simply a nicely written essay!

--Mark :)
OP dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 18, 2013   #5
Thanks for now :) There's no need to post in this topic - this is for testing purposes only :)

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