Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Task 2 : THE MEDIA AND THE MAIN REPORTS



Mardy17 32 / 18  
Jan 19, 2016   #1
THE MEDIA PAY TO MUCH ATTENTION TO THE LIVES AND RELATIONSHIP OF CELEBRITIES SUCH AS ACTORS, SINGERS OR FOOTBALLERS. THEY SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME REPORTING THE LIVES OF ORDINARY PEOPLE INSTEAD.

It is true that at these days and ages, majority of the mass media tend to be more attracted exposing the personal life of popular people such as celebrities and sport players as the headline new. Although the information regarding famous ones are quite interesting to be discuss by citizens, I unanimously agree that virtually press media should pay more attention to the phenomenon in local's lives.

As a matter of fact, the source information about the live of outstanding individuals is the inevitable news, since a wide range of inhabitants assume it as a part of world entertainment. For instance, in Indonesia virtually entire TV stations broadcast gossips program every day. And it is still maintained due to have attracted the attention from many viewers. Hence, the reporting as for fame person actually becomes one of the local's entertainments.

However, the news release with regard to the occurrences in local environments should be more encouraged, because to part and parcel, media have a vital role to be the connector or the informant between citizens lives and government activities. For instance, in many regions worldwide, Media have been representative of locals' voices and critics which extended to the government for years. On the other hand, the government can convey the extent of their performance thanks to media.

To conclude, even though news about familiar ones is quite needed as the consolation for many people, I extremely believe that correspondent properly centralize reporting on the occasion in locals' and government's environment.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 19, 2016   #2
Mardy, the prompt that you provided is incomplete so I am unable to determine if you were able to discuss the essay in the expected manner. Please complete the prompt by indicating the instruction that was supposed to tell you if you were supposed to give an opinion, agree or disagree with the statement, or just compare the two points of view. I will be unable to judge your personal point of view as read in the essay unless I know what it is supposed to contain.

Your conclusion has a confusing sentence located within it. What do you mean by:

I extremely believe that correspondent properly centralize reporting on the occasion in locals' and government's environment.

Please remember that in a concluding statement, the writer is not allowed to present any information that will need to be properly developed and discussed in order to allow the reader to understand what the writer means. It is obvious that you accidentally did that in this conclusion, making it invalid. So further explain the statement you made and then develop a proper conclusion for your essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : THE MEDIA AND THE MAIN REPORTS
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳