Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS TASK 2 : The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities.

broibra 17 / 19 3  
Nov 17, 2015   #1
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Famous people like celebrities and footballers are often covered on the television and newspaper. While ordinary people are rarely covered in the media. I would argue that this is an important thing to adjust the proportion between the ordinary people and celebrities.

Celebrities have been an important part of so many people. There are plenty of them who admire celebrities because their lives are exciting. When people read or see news about celebrities such as their homes, or see the clothes they wear, a wide range of people want the same thing, rather want to become like them. So it makes people feel better for reaching their dream and it will give them a power to do a good thing in their life too.

Secondly, also a large number of people say that ordinary people can also have interesting lives. For example, volunteers who help people affected by disasters and get the award because they have been willing to spend a lot of time or a businessman who built his business from scratch and the profit has increased to the present. This became a source of inspiration for many who found themselves in a similar position. However, I think the public does not want to read about ordinary workers very often. But they only enjoy one particular because there is nothing to encourage them to read more.

To sum up, I believe it is good to show the lives of celebrities, but only to an extent where it could be motivating for the common man. Ordinary people must also be given for the portion belonging to the media while they had a great accomplishment so that many people are also motivated.
Arundyna 12 / 16 2  
Nov 17, 2015   #2
Let me give your suggestion
In my opinion, you miss one word, regarding singing in the first paragraph, which you should incorporate 3 items. it means out of topic. one more is, in the thesis statement, you must mention what is your view agree or disagree.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities.
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳