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How might the advantages of studying in another country outweigh the disadvantages?


Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
Apr 12, 2015   #1
Doing further studies abroad has become increasingly common in recent decades. How might the advantages of studying in another country outweigh the disadvantages?

International studies are becoming the new trend of young people since they believe that there are some benefits of this such as better job opportunities, worth experience and more independent life. However, others believe that this trend has negative side for teenagers as it may drive them to culture shock and to difficulties in line of communication with local people. Nevertheles, I believe that even we can named the disadvantages of this trend, it still can outweigh the advantages.

Acquiring education from international university can bring more benefits for students than studying in their motherland. First of all, by studying abroad, teenager have international qualification and can communicate and also have experience in international world, so people will respect them and then will offer a better job for them. The second is young people can experience new cultures, get a new friends, learn a new language. Those experiences can be a precious story of their life time. Moreover, living alone in the middle of somewhere can develop teenager to be more independent and have sense of responsibility to their-self.

On the other hand, different cultures can lead teenager to culture shock. They may be not ready to accept the difference between their own culture and other cultures, so it can cause them getting homesick and feeling uncomfortable to live in other country. In addition, different language can drive them crazy to understand what people say in foreign country. They may lost because they do not know how to find direction and they may feel hunger as they cannot say what they want to buy for eating. However, I believe that after one month teenager can adapt well and find a comfort zone of living in other countries. Also as a matter of language problem, a preparation like learning foreign language can be a viable solution before young people going abroad.

To conclude, I believe that the advantages of this trend outshine the disadvantages. Therefore, it is better for parents and govenrment to support young people to study abroad so as to get a better future.

thuyhien1801 1 / 1 1  
Apr 12, 2015   #2
"there are some benefits of this such as better job opportunities, worth experience" I think it will be better to say: useful/valuable experience

"it may drive them to culture shock and to difficulties" You should you drive them to do sth, for exp drive them to encounter...

that even if we can named
"have international qualification and can communicate and also have experience in international world" When using and you should make sure those are parallel words or phrases.

This is what I think, hope I help!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Apr 13, 2015   #3
I think you cannot even write "However' in the first paragraph, since there is no contrast opinion. With this paragraph, the thesis statement is too vague, since you do not raise a strong claim on what to do in the following body paragraph.

To conclude, I believe that the advantages of this trend outshine the disadvantages. Therefore, it is better for parents and govenrment to support young people to study abroad so as to get a better future.

What do you want to say here? Your point after a concluding signal is zero thought. Also, the personal statement drifted away.


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