In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children. The problems consist of academic, social, and commercial matters. This essay will first discuss the causes of the obstacles, which are the national examination, bullying, and the expensive books, then present that grading based on understanding, making attention on children's behavior, and using library books can be the solutions of the problems.

Nowadays, everyone faces the new challenges, so do the children. We can see from the academic perspective that the children face the national examination. One of the famous psychologist from Brisbane University, Mr. Seto, said that it could make the youth more stressful because their brain cannot afford it. Moreover, bullying is another cause that can make their life harder, especially on daily school lives. The pupils are also being forced by the teacher to buy expensive books to be their literature in the school.

How the way that can be done by us to overcome these problems? We can try to change the way we grade the pupils to be based on understanding so the children are not forced to pass the exam but they should understand in order to have a higher grade. Furthermore, bullying can be solve using Anti-Bullying Method, introduced by Mr. Shiraishi from Kyoto University, which requires the teacher's attention on children's behavior so that they can reduce the bullying practice in the school. Encouraging the teacher and providing the free books by the schools in the library can also reduce the pressure of children on the commercial side, and everyone can have the same equality each other.

All in all, the children's pressure on academic can be easily solved by converting the method of grading, followed by bullying which is able to be removed by the teacher responsibility on pupils' behavior. Besides, the commercial sector which leads the pressure on students can be reduced by providing a book which can be borrowed by them.

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Ivan, in terms of task accuracy, I think you could score no higher than a 4. That is because you present the prompt in a difficult to understand manner. As such, the paraphrasing of the essay has suffered and the understanding of the reader pertaining to the topic for discussion has been compromised. It takes a few repetitions of your paraphrasing before a reader can even guess what the relationship of the topics you are presenting for discussion has with the actual prompt. Don't get me wrong, it is only the vocabulary that is a drawback for your opening statement.

The cohesiveness and coherence of your discussion has more uniformity when it comes to the logical discussion of your facts and other related data. So you might score a decent 5 in that section. The fact that you quote academic sources shows that you have a clear understanding of the prompt and you are doing your best to raise the level of your discussion in the anticipation of a better score in this section of the test.

The lexical resource cannot be higher than a 4 because some of the terms that you use deliver a different meaning for your sentence developments. These problems create a difficulty for the reader who has to try and figure out what the correct term you wanted to use in the sentence was.

Needless to say, the grammar range and accuracy would be a 5 because of the problems with sentence development and structure. The lack of fluency in English often poses a difficulty for you in terms of writing which in turn affects the ability of the reader to easily understand your message.