Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


In modern era, there are many ways to keep body healthy. It depend on the people


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


In modern era, there are many ways to keep body healthy. It depend on the people who want to stay fit. For example, in the office peoples can do some exercise at the free time. Although the others prefer to stay for doing nothing.

The office workers have little time because of their job in every day. It can effect for their healthy that they just sitting every time. In addition, they also find the fast food rather than nutrition foods, because the fast food more delicious than healthy foods. The taste is salty. Subsequently, they prefer using escalator than stairs. It make their body not produce sweat because they do less activities. Next, people use their cars instead of walking to arrive in the work office.

In other hand, employee can use their separate time to do many exercise. It can effect for their healthy nd focus. However, They can bring packed meal which are the nutrition foods, such as fresh fruits and vegetables that contain less oil and flavourin. Next, they can go to sport centre and make schedule to exercise because it is important. Although, it is look harder but if the people do the activities regularly, they can keep their body healthy. In addition, they can choose to walk instead using vehicle because it make their body be active.

Recently, i think many peoples have plan about their activity which are doing exercise but in fact they just need good start. If people can do it regularly, they can want to do it again.

In conclusion, for being healthy it is difficult because there are many way to reach that. People just need healthy lifestyle become habit. Unfortunately, the people think it is difficult to get fit, in fact it can be very easy.
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
hello dika
I have some suggestions for you
I hope it helps

1. reduction using subject pronoun in body 1 and 22. I think using technology is suitable than talking about occupation
... exercise at the free time,a lthough the others prefer to stay for doing nothing.(give your position about this task)

It can effect foron their healthy that ...

The taste is salty(too short sentence) .

... they can keep fittheir body healthy(paraphrase) .

Recently, iI <<< capital think many peoples have plan (...) which are doing exercise, but in fact they ...

... there are many ways to reach that.

be careful out of topic bro
keep writing
thanks
Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Sep 27, 2016   #3
Hi Andika08. It is nice to read your writing but I have some suggestions for you

It depends on the people who ...
... in the office peoples can do some ...

It can effect affect for their healthy that ...

It can effect affect for their healthy nd focus.

Although, it is looks harder but if the people ...

Recently, i think many peoples have plan about their activity which areis doing exercise but ...

Keep writing. Best regard


Home / Writing Feedback / In modern era, there are many ways to keep body healthy. It depend on the people
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳