I would be very grateful if you could help me correct my essay in terms of cohesion and coherrent, as well as vocabulary. and If possible, can you mark my essay according to Ielts Band score
Topic: Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world.
What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?
The modern society today sees the increasing problems related to stress such as heart disease and alzheirmer, as well as obesity, depression and anxiety. While there are many factors contributing to stress, there are also many feasible ways to limit its impacts.
As the world is getting more and more modern and developed, we are encountering many unprecedented problems. The constant work intensity gives us very less opportunities to relax, our time for holiday is getting shorter and shorter while time at work is increasing. The environmental pollution has presented us with many new unresolved diseases like alzheirmer, thus worsening our health not only physically but also mentally. There are also social issues to contend with, public relationships play an crucial role in attaining success in life, but it is very fatigued to keep a wide range of relationship properly. All of these concerns can result in stress.
Stress is not easy to be tackle, but there are some practicable measures to be taken. Firstly, we must keep a healthy lifesyle by having enough sleep, keeping away from alcohol and drugs, as well as doing exercises regularly. Secondly, a good and balanced diet would do wonders for you, it not only improves your health but also result in less worries about potential diseases. These two measures will enable you with a sound mind in a sound body. Finally, you must know your own limits, many people nowadays try their best to achieve triumph as other people do, they study and work in an exhausted way, just to be successful in life. Very few outstanding ones can go beyond their boundary, so just content with your own ability, otherwise you will find your health damaged.
In a nutshell, Stress is caused by many complicated factors and still remains unsolved but, as mentioned above, I strongly believe that we can diminish this problems steps by steps, the key to conquering it is up to your own ways of life.
Topic: Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world.
What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?
The modern society today sees the increasing problems related to stress such as heart disease and alzheirmer, as well as obesity, depression and anxiety. While there are many factors contributing to stress, there are also many feasible ways to limit its impacts.
As the world is getting more and more modern and developed, we are encountering many unprecedented problems. The constant work intensity gives us very less opportunities to relax, our time for holiday is getting shorter and shorter while time at work is increasing. The environmental pollution has presented us with many new unresolved diseases like alzheirmer, thus worsening our health not only physically but also mentally. There are also social issues to contend with, public relationships play an crucial role in attaining success in life, but it is very fatigued to keep a wide range of relationship properly. All of these concerns can result in stress.
Stress is not easy to be tackle, but there are some practicable measures to be taken. Firstly, we must keep a healthy lifesyle by having enough sleep, keeping away from alcohol and drugs, as well as doing exercises regularly. Secondly, a good and balanced diet would do wonders for you, it not only improves your health but also result in less worries about potential diseases. These two measures will enable you with a sound mind in a sound body. Finally, you must know your own limits, many people nowadays try their best to achieve triumph as other people do, they study and work in an exhausted way, just to be successful in life. Very few outstanding ones can go beyond their boundary, so just content with your own ability, otherwise you will find your health damaged.
In a nutshell, Stress is caused by many complicated factors and still remains unsolved but, as mentioned above, I strongly believe that we can diminish this problems steps by steps, the key to conquering it is up to your own ways of life.
