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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people



cardilua 1 / 1  
Feb 20, 2024   #1
TOPIC :In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

In these modern days, with the development of technology people can finish their work, or even buy merchandise on high-tech devices. While one school of thought holds that this will benefit human life, others are of the opinion that this development will bring drawbacks to us. This essay will closely examine both sides of this aspect and provide a personal reason.

On the one hand, there are several reasons for the fact that the development of this greatest invention has brought us closer around the world. This innovation was made to be telecommunication for people to use worldwide, instead of traveling from their home to the cafe, they can use their devices with the Internet to make a video call with their family, friends, and workmates, which can save a lot of time for human to interact with the person that they want to without worrying about the distances. Moreover, without meeting in person people can purchase goods through the online stores on the Internet with the variety of choices that they will find suitable with them. These benefits bring us convenience in our lives because of its functions that can connect each other through the applications on the Internet, it can help people to reduce time and transportation in the way they contact or trade on the platforms.

On the other hand, I firmly hold the view that it is not positive in some ways. Despite its benefits to human life, it also has a number of drawbacks, such as encountering scams when trading commodities online, or even committing fraud that can lead to the insecurity of our privacy. Nowadays, with the upgrade of technologies, frauds may find the fault of their software, and they will try to invade your privacy through those errors, which can lead to your private information being cracked. These problems can make people spend a lot of money in order to tackle the scammers because they are extorted by their insecure privacy, such as identification, contact, . . . It will be a challenge for you to protect your personal information, owing to the fact that scammers will collect a whole lot of private data and will use it for evil purposes, such as publishing it on the Internet or faking you to do it illegally, which makes you spend a lot of your money to avoid leaking information

. In conclusion, while I accept that the Internet brings us advantages, I opine that this greatest innovation also has disadvantages. Notwithstanding the fact that the Internet saves a lot of time for human activity, it also is a tool for scammers to produce income over the unsecured privacy of the Internet

Please evaluate my essays, and give me a score that I can achieve

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Feb 22, 2024   #2
While the restatement of the topic is aligned with the original discussion, there is a problem with the writer's opinion and the response discussion format that would lead the essay to get a failing TA score. The provided discussion uses the discuss both views and give an opinion format when the instruction clearly states that this is a single personal opinion essay. Therefore, the preliminary TA score will be a failing one that is based on an improper response format. A format that was used successively in the essay, thus leading to an incorrect discussion format overall. I am afraid this essay will not receive a passing score since you failed to properly address the writing task beyond the correct paraphrasing requirement.


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