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IELTS Task 2 : MONITORING SYSTEM THROUGH ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY


Mardy17 32 / 18 5  
Feb 4, 2016   #1
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


These days and ages, it is true that sophisticated technology is becoming an integral part of human being lives due to its expediency. In particular, some of the technology equipment like CCTV camera or cell phone are used to keep track of people's activities or conversation. In general, most of the people occasionally do not realize if they are being monitored. I firmly believe that this development is beneficial to reduce the criminal cases like shoplifting or organized crime and be the authentic evidence in a certain incident. However, increase in case of illegal wiretapping is a drawback that should be taken into account.

It is inevitable that human life becomes getting easier thanks to technology. A great number of people or companies utilize several advanced technologies like CCTV camera of particular interest. Generally, it is put in the house, office or shop for security reason. Take the stores in a shopping center as an example, the manager or the owner of those shops fit up the CCTV camera in order to record the whole activities in the shops include the shoplifting incident. The thief who is not aware of surveillance camera will be easily caught by the security. Besides, the recorded videos or conversation in a certain crime can be an authentic evidence to ensnare the perpetrator to confess. Therefore, these advanced technologies are totally useful and bring so many benefits.

Nevertheless, every single person or company has to consider to have a strong legal basis for monitoring certain individual due to the reason that each person has the privacy right of their own as long as it does not harm others. The technology possibly leads the drawbacks because it can be also used to steal the personal or secret information. For instance, in 2009, the Indonesian president and several state officials in Indonesia had experienced an illegal wiretapping through the telephone by the Australian government since 2007. This incident is certainly very detrimental to Indonesia because their privacy information had been stolen.

To conclude, despite the fact that the easy leaking of information because of modern technology is a demerit that should be taken into account, I believe that the development of this technology brings more advantages in human life as long as it does not harm other people.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Feb 4, 2016   #2
Hi Mardy, after reading and understanding your essay, I believe that you were able to come up with a
good essay, you made a point in your argument and you were able to showcase your opinion to address
the advantage and disadvantages of technology and its breakthrough.

However, there are some points I would like to suggest and this is for future reference.
Avoid translating your ideas using direct translation, like when you have an idea and you formed
it using your local language make sure that when you translate it in English, it the general thought
of your idea and not it's direct meaning.

Now, I'd like to draw your your attention to the last paragraph in your essay or the conclusion.

- To conclude, despite the fact that the easy leaking ofit's easy to leak information
- because of modern technology, is a demerit that should be taken into account,
- as long as it does not harm other peoplewe keep control of the technology and more importantly, be responsible in
all aspects of technological breakthrough
.

There you have it Mardy, I hope I was able to help.


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