The necessity of schools in this internet era
These days, some have predicted that schools will no longer play an important role in providing knowledge for students since the growing dramatically of the internet which helps children learn effectively at home. However, I am not in agreement with this idea.
The first reason for this is that using the Internet for learning without any direction from the teacher is simply unrealistic. The teacher is not only a person who teaches at school but also a tour guide on the learning journey of students who are willing to answer all the questions for them. The school also connect pupils' study path and their family and provide students' situation if they are learning well or badly at school for parents, something the internet cannot do. For example, if parents are too busy to make money, they will want to know their child's learning situation through the teachers since then giving appropriate adjustments to their child.
In addition to the concern above, I also believe that learning from the Internet is impossible. With the sharp development, there are too many facts and figures for one topic on the platform, which confuses searching for the student. Moreover, all the data on the internet is not always correct, this may lead to some misunderstandings and mistakes in students' knowledge which bring negative consequences for their future. Therefore, using the internet to find information as a tool to serve intellectual study is not should be done.
In conclusion, using the internet as a key role in learning, from my perspective, is impossible. I believe school always gives priceless value to any age and undeniable role for students.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,441 4691
Your opinion is well presented but, lacking in more depth so as to increase your score. You need to add a thesis statement at the end of your opinion presentation to achieve that. A thesis statement is the reasoning basis of your opinion. It is the foundation by which you develop your point of view so it must be presented in the writer's opinion sentence or, as a stand alone sentence. It can only help to increase your preliminary score.
You want to show ownership of an idea in this situation so use an apostrophe S ('s).
which confuses searching
The student is not confused by the search, he is confused by the information and thus, the learning process. This is a wrong word choice that will affect your LR score.