IELTS TASK 2: NEGATIVE IMPACTS OF COMPUTER GAMES ON CHILDREN AND SOLUTIONS?

children spend large amount of time playing computer games

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.
What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Children these days have abundance of ways to relax after stressful time study at school. Some choose to take part in sports and outdoor activities. However, since people have many methods to log on to computers on a widespread source, there is a large number of children prefer spending time on playing games on the computers. This may lead to many defective influences on those who enjoy computer games. Those matters can be worked out by guardians' control and self-conscious awareness, which are discussed in detail in this essay.

Playing computer games has metamorphosed into a severe matter that is damaging youngsters' future prospects. Along with the progress of technology, many attractive game titles have appeared on the computer systems that players can engage in with online status to chat and talk to others. It is time-consuming that children spend mostly leisure time on computers for unhelpful activities. Seriously, some are even addicted to games and willing to pay a great amount of money to own items in games as a means of enjoying the games properly.

Creating mental health problems is the persistence of playing computer games for the simple reason that online games sometimes include violence. This content of game affects seriously and directly to children's aware-established process. It will play a role in forming children's characteristics as violent and rough. A clear proof of this is some children when grown up will have dreadful behavior such as burglaries, that turn into homicides. Gravely, game addiction also forces children to be in a delusion.

Another incisive evidence that computer games influence badly on children is it causes eye diseases. Playing computer games means players have to keep eyes on the screen at whole time without resting. The eyes are affected directly by the light from the computer and get myopic and suffer from dry eyes diseases.

This concern while pressing and critical is not bereft of a workable remedy in the form of guardians' control. Parents should not ban children from computer games but set time limitation and content of the games. Besides, children must be strictly self-conscious about what they engage in on the computer which assist them to establish healthy mindset and behavior.

The topic representation in the first paragraph alters the original presentation. The student included several references to data that represents a personal opinion or knowledge rather than a simple rewording of the original. The examiners hate when students do this and often award a failing TA score to the students that do this. The first 2 sentences in the paragraph caused that problem. Then, the student. did not offer direct responses to the thesis creating questions, which posed another TA scoring deduction for that paragraph.

The second paragraph is an empty discussion. It fails to develop an acceptable negative impact. The writer just dida writing excercise in this section by indicating the discussion topic in several ways. All without making a clear discussion point.

The essay is over-developed from the required 4 paragraph format. The reasoning paragraphs should be composed of :

1 negative effect paragraph
1 solutions paragraph

The over- discussion is why the essay had problematic paragraph presentations. Had the witter focused on the clear simplicity of the discussion, he would have written a proper passing essay