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Writing task 2: newly built houses should follow the old style or people can choose freely

DiepVu99 9 / 21 9  
Aug 4, 2020   #1

choosing the house's style

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of the old houses in the local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss and give opinion.

Nowadays, the trend of choosing the house's style is sparking various arguments. Some arguments said that contemporary houses should be in accordance with the old. The others contend that people should be allowed to decide what they want. In my opinion, the second one is more reasonable.

Sometimes, the new houses ought to be built following the old model due to the locality's landscape. It would be unimaginable if there was a modern building among a row of the ancient structure houses. For example, Hoi An city in Vietnam is a famous destination for the architecture value of tradition from a few centuries ago. Therefore, the authority should limit the emerging of the odd style buildings, compare with coherent ones. The ostracism could appear among residents, which leads to negative conflicts and reduce attachment feelings.

On the other hand, people should have the right to select which construction-designing type they want. Many modern models improve human life and positively affect the environment while architects comply with eco-friendly or well-ventilated trends. The more exquisite trends are applied to new houses, the more effectively people respond with the greenhouse. Moreover, the new buildings would help saving money more than the old ones because almost ancient materials used to be precious wood and are so expensive now. So, freely giving the decision could be suitable for individuals' economic conditions and the likelihood of protecting the environment.

In conclusion, although in some areas, keeping the new houses following the traditional style is necessary, people should be allowed to choose other styles that could bring more opportunities to their life.

Thanks for reading and please give me some comments!

baotram1812 4 / 7 2  
Aug 5, 2020   #2
Hi, your essay is pretty good.
However, i have some suggestions for you
1. the emerging of the odd style buildings, compared with coherent ones.
The red words are supposed to be the odd buiding designs/styles.
2. construction-designing type -> type of architectural styles they want...
Hope my suggestions helpful!
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,560 2976  
Aug 5, 2020   #3
You not accurately delivering the paraphrase for the prompt. Examiners score down students for making exaggerated claims within the prompt paraphrase section. There are also scoring considerations applied to the accuracy of your rephrasing. So do not use claims not present in the original presentation. The original discussion indicates the word "thinking", which means, "to consider". That is different from "arguments" which means "a fact for or against a point." Since there are no facts being presented but only considerations, "arguments" is not the correct descriptive word to use.

You are providing a singular point of view in this essay when the discussion requires the use of a public explanation first (discuss both points of view) and then the presentation of the personal opinion (give your opinion) after the comparison is completed. So the essay does not reflect a discussion based on the proper formatting requirements. You should understand that this type of essay requires an additional presentation on your part. You have to highlight your ability to use various pronouns in both the public and personal point of view as a part of the GRA scoring consideration. The GRA section scores your understanding of English writing rules and the proper use of English punctuation marks. These were the main problems in your current presentation.
OP DiepVu99 9 / 21 9  
Aug 12, 2020   #4
Thank you for giving me your valid comment!
It takes a time for me to understand and revise this format. Now I understand the purpose of topic and the exact separation of "discussing & giving opinion"

I'll try better. Thanks a lot

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