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writing task 1 : the number of guests visiting music on the internet

ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 10, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the information about the comparison in the amount of guests in two genres of music on the internet over 15-day is showed in the line chart. Overall, it is noticeable that the proportion of both music choice and pop parade illustrates an upward trend. While, the highest position is occupied by a pop parade at the end of the period.

Initially, the figures show a widen up the gap between the level of music choice at 40,000 and pop parade at 120,000. It is followed by 7-day, a fluctuation is showed by visitors visiting music choice sites at 20,000, whereas the number of pop parade decreased dramatically to 40,000, and it represents the gap between lines is narrow down. Then, on 8-day, both of figures a gradual increase to 42,000 and 40,000 respectively. Then, from 9-day until 11-day, a remarkable increase occurs in the level of the pop parade to 150,000, yet the number of music choice decreased slightly by 18,000.

Turning to the day 12 until 13, both the figures experiences an intersection so that the level of music choice predominated the trend. In the next following day, the proportion of pop parade dominates, with rocketing to approximately 160,000.At the same time, the level of music choice illustrates an increase as well to roughly 120,000. Eventually, the number of visitors on pop parade sites reaches a peak at 170,000, while a slight decrease to around 75,000 is recorded in the level of music choice.

mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 10, 2016   #2
Dear Riandi, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

... occupied by a pop parade proportion at the end ...

... both of figures shows a gradual increase ...

....both theof figures experiences (...) choice predominateds the trend.


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