Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Obesity is a big problem in most of the countries



megha 7 / 13  
Mar 31, 2010   #1
"Obesity is a big problem".

Obesity is major problem in most of the countries. American government had passed a law in which the McDonalds cannot give toys to children with the junk food. McDonalds clown is also asked to get retire. Obesity is major issues for children, adults and especially for women. Obesity leads towards heart disease and diabetes.

To begin with, Children are more attracted to the junk food because of all business tricks. Like in Resturent children are given toys with every junk meal. Therefore children are at high risk as they have habit to run behind the junk food. Parent should have major concerns to teach their children which food is healthy.

Secondly men, those have high intake of starch diet and junk foods in their meals are in pick point to increase their weight. People those consume soda, aerated drinks lead to increase weight. Those who are retired or doing sedentary job are also victim of obesity.

Furthermore, Women those have kids, just don't bother about their weight.
Doctors said that "the main problem is that people don't have habit of exercise in their daily routine". So every one should make an effort to create an awareness about the

importance of exercise in daily routine. But nowadays bollywood stars has took major step forward to reduce weight and gain zero size figure example, karrena kapoor. So many girls aspire to have zero size.

To sum up with, people should have healthy food like salad, fruits and sprouts in their diet. They should do daily actives atleast thirty mins a day. So that they can maintain weight and stay healthy. People should join weight reducing programs to reduce weight.

indrukas 1 / 2  
Apr 1, 2010   #2
You ideas are clear and well organized, but i would eliminate this sentence : " But nowadays bollywood stars has took major step forward to reduce weight and gain zero size figure example, karrena kapoor. So many girls aspire to have zero size."

This senetnce doesn't support your arguemnt in that paragraph.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 1, 2010   #3
American government had passed a law in which the McDonalds cannot give toys to children with the junk food.

Is that right?? I didn't know about that! that is quite impressive. I think it is such a good idea; tanks for telling me. Toys should not be associated with junk food.

To begin with, children are more ...

Secondly men who have high intake of starch diet and junk foods in their meals are in a position to increase their weight. People who consume soda, aerated drinks lead to experence increased weight. Those who are retired or doing sedentary jobs are also victims of obesity.

Nice job!!! I like your title a lot!! very funny.

Furthermore, women who have kids just don't bother about their weight. --- I don't think this is a fair generalization to make about mothers! :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / Obesity is a big problem in most of the countries
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳