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IELTS Task 2: Which One is More Essential, Appearance or Quality of Work?


fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Nov 26, 2015   #1
Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that to be a well-dressed worker in a company is more essential than job performances, but the others assume the reverse. While I agree both views, it primarily relies on the workplace and the profession.

Nowadays, job descriptions and particular professions need special dress code in everyday activities. For instance, as Public Relations who meet several clients have to wear appropriate clothes. While the organizations represented by them, they must represent good images in front of public, so they will seen more attractive. Moreover, they have special budget to buy fascinating formal dress and cosmetics. Likewise, another example is that persons wear uniform if their professions are policemen, civil servants, doctors, and soldiers. I believe these appearances make people aware about what their responsibility.

On the other side, I state that quality of work is more important than what individuals dress. In short, they use their skills and abilities to work. For example, artists who create some creativity products do not need to maximize their looks. Even, sometimes they do not care what clothes are worn, such as painters, fashion designers, photographers, and theater players. They are usually highly appreciated because they are really all out to make perfect performance regardless appearance.

In particular chance, employees are also mandated by their companies to wear smart clothes, sometimes free costumes. Companies should let their workers to express fashion styles with special requirements. In other words, their dress can be applied if only they experience their duty well.

To sum up, appearance and performance are equally essential to involve in our job. People have to adjust quickly in their surroundings, so they can prepare and know what they should dress. I do reckon that between quality and looks have to be balanced to support and to become professional workers.

(300 words)

hasdymath 11 / 25  
Nov 26, 2015   #2
hi, your writing is good organized. As a readers I am able to understand easily yours. Also, you have included introduction, thesis statement, body, and closing paragraph called conclusion. Yet, You need some advise to increase your score. Here they are :

good rephrase, it has already covered the first statement

Some people argue that to be a well-dressed worker in a company is more essential than job performances, but the others assume the reverse.

give reason why you agree with those views. It will drive your tesis statement more powerful and drive reader understand your topic without reading whole essay.

here yours' : They use their skills and abilities to work and particular professions need special dress code in everyday activities

While I agree both views, it primarily relies on the workplace and the profession.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 27, 2015   #3
Masdar, I am hugely impressed by the way you wrote this essay. You were analytical and offered an insight into the debate that shows a familiarity with the topic. I am guessing that you work in an occupation that requires your dress up which is why this essay is so informative. It manages to present a balanced discussion that is only marred by the slight grammar errors that exist in the essay.
OP fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Nov 27, 2015   #4
Dear @Vangiespen, Thanks for guiding me to make my writing more improvement. Anyway, I'm afraid I can't get your correction in last paragraph. would you like to write more clearly? Thank you so much. And, anyway, my occupation sometimes drives me to wear both, formal and informal, :)
irhame 52 / 50 25  
Nov 27, 2015   #5
In particular chance, employees are also mandated by their companiesemployers to wear smart clothes...
Clearly,c ompanies should let their workers to ...
In other words, if only they experience their duty well,their dress can be applied.

Obviously, people have to adjust quickly in their surroundingsenvironment , so they can prepare and know what clothes they should dress. I do reckon that between quality and looksdisplays have to be balanced to ...


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