IELTS WRITING TASK 2:Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our...

TOPIC: Online shopping is increasing dramatically.

How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required?

It is true that going shopping on the Internet is becoming considerably popular in modern society. This trend will inevitably have a significant positive and negative impact on the environment and on job opportunities.

Online shopping can affect our environment in good and bad ways. People will drive less because they can now purchase products on websites. This will result in less pollution and a decrease in road congestion during rush hours. Furthermore, natural resources and fuel can be preserved owing to a reduction in the construction of new roads, buildings for supermarkets, or for selling products. However, more packaging is inevitable if more people order goods online. For instance, I bought a book online and when it was delivered, I was surprised to find three layers of wrappings around the book. Of course, the packaging is important for the protection of products but this will decidedly lead to an increase in paper and cardboard boxes being used.

Career opportunities will also be affected greatly by the increasing popularity of online shopping. On the one hand, the unemployment rate may rise when shop workers such as cashiers, security guards, and sellers lose their jobs. On the other hand, more spots will be available for skilled IT workers such as web developers, web designers, and computer programmers. Moreover, the shipping business will thrive and create more jobs for employees if the need for products to be delivered to citizens' homes increase.

In conclusion, shopping on the Internet has a huge effect on our environment and jobs. It is undeniable that online shopping has brought about many benefits as well as drawbacks to these two aspects of our society.

Please give feedback on my essays. Thanks in advance!!!

When there is no opinion validity question in the original prompt, the writer should refrain from offering such commentaries in the prompt restatement. Doing so means the paraphrase is no longer true to the original since an additional topic, not found in the original theme was presented. It reduces the interpretation accuracy. Additionally, specific responses in the form of topic outlines must be provided as direct responses. That is because the introduction paragraph lays the discussion foundation based on the task provided. The writer does not represent any of there in its opening paragraph.

The reasoning paragraphs are developed in a coherent manner. The transition to the next related topic is also well-done. The writer makes good and proper use of transition words. Although, transition sentences receive better scoring considerations. The discussion is going to be well recieved by the examiner. While the problems of the first paragraph will produce deductions, the essay is still a strong contender for a passing score.

"It is true that shopping online is becoming ....."
"shopping online can have pros and cons that affect our environment."
"Furthermore, natural resources and fuel... because of a reduction in new roads, ..."
"... I was surprised to find ..." we don't use personal opinion in this part.

Hopefully, it helps
I wish you success!

Hi @Nhattruong,
I appreciate your feedback but it would be more helpful if next time, you include the reasons why I should do so. Anyway, thanks a lot!!!

Hope you have a great day!