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Writing Task 2 opinion's people about internet using

Fiza26 3 / 4  
Jan 5, 2017   #1

internet in the view on an average citizen

People have different views about the internet is a good means of connecting people. Others believe that it may not a best place to search information. This essay will discuss both of this view and give my opinion.

On the recent years, internet is very useful for everyone start from children to old people. First of all, internet can connect people in different distance around the world. For example, some people have a long distance married with their husband from Indonesia to Australia, they also can establish a warm communication by video call, email and other social medias. Secondly, internet give some people communication with their boss easily, it can replace the direct meeting and presenting with their boss. Thirdly, internet also find old friends, if some people difficult to meet their lovely friend in senior high school, internet can connect them easily without spend much money and time, because they can chat in everywhere.

In contrast, there are many reasons why internet is not the cozy place to find information. Firstly, many information in internet hoax and give some opinions to hate specific person. For example, on the recent month, there are many pictures about Mr.Ahok with some sentences that he did impolite for Al-Qur'an and then many people as a Muslim angry with this view. Secondly, many information in internet did not have a trusted source. Thirdly, information or news in the internet contain "SARA" and not good for young generations.

In conclusion, I can understand why people suggest that internet is not a best place to find information, it seems to me that internet is danger for young people when they find a wrong information.

BiburLicek 1 / 3  
Jan 5, 2017   #2
Hello Mis@Fiza26
I have some suggestioons for your essay mis..

- both of this view - ... both these views ....
- for everyone start from children to .... - .. everyone which is started from ...

Thank you ..
krempetkov 13 / 29 6  
Jan 12, 2017   #3
Well, I don't know the question, but it probably asks your for your opinion. It is always better to make a clear statement in the Introduction - what is your opinion and wich point of view is better and therefore will support in your essay.

THE internet - you hade made this mistake several times.

everyone start from children to - STARTS

in different distance - in the different

Secondly, internet give some people - gives

nternet also find old friends, if - the internet... finds

without spend much - without spending much

Work on your grammar and especially subject-verb agreement.

I will leave you to try and review your second paragraph alone.
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Jan 13, 2017   #4

I found you list lots reasons to support one statement. I think it would be better if you can illustrate a main idea and use several developed sentences to support it. Otherwise, I think the reasons you addressed are not deep enough.

Next, how about re-writing your conclusion? Since you mentioned that the internet is dangerous to the youth but it is not the main concept in paragraph three. It makes me feel awkward.

Hope it helps!

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