Essay about the opinion of people in traveling

Topic:
DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?

People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is a certain fact that individuals have various perceptions of traveling. While some people hole the belief that journey in their home country could be generate higher merit, another great proportion of the population are interested in the advantages of traveling abroad. In this essay, I will analyze both sides of those two arguments and state my own perspective.

On the one hand, traveling in the home country could be the golden opportunity for people to broaden their horizons more about the historical event in tandem with various traditional heritage, particularly history documents that are not providing in school programs. It is obvious that, nowadays, the history lesson in school is bored to the majority of student in class because of several reasons including lack of reality, hard to remember and imaging.... Traveling to specific location connected with history event could be generate the general view and easy to draw the picture of their ancestor activities in the past in tandem with absorb the history knowledge in visualize ways by numerous pictures, model...

On the other hand, traveling in foreign countries is one of the optimal options for people to
learn about not only the languages but also the cross-culture, which could provide a huge benefit for their future career when collaborating with foreign partners. Besides, every single nation in the world has their own characteristics, thus, traveling to another country could be the chance for people to discover new things that different from their homeland. Furthermore, they also can learn the innovative technique to catch up with the world civilizations.

In conclusion, traveling in a home country or foreign one also has the advantage of fulfilling the performance in both future career and human welfare. Each people should have time to travel and experience the diversity of the world.

You immediately failed this essay test. The very minute to offered a fact in the first sentence rather than a simple restatement of the given topics. Then, you also went against the single discussion instruction for your opinion when you stated that you would be comparing both points of views before stating your own opinion. This is a single opinion essay because you were asked if you give a single response: Do you agree or disagree? In no part of the instruction were you asked to; "discuss both points of view and give your opinion." Therefore, your response is totally unrelated to the task and, in addition, you failed to actually state a response to the direct question within the response presentation. I cannot continue to review your essay at this point since you failed to follow the discussion instructions from the very beginning of your presentation.