Opinions differ on whether students are afforded the right to learn what they really want

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like

My essay :

Opinions differ on whether students are afforded the right to learn what they really want or universities need to encourage them study subjects that have high practical application in the work later. Personally, I think both views are plausible as each has its own merits.

It is certainly true that allow students to choose comfortably their majors would rather than force them. In other words, universities should create advantageous conditions to promote their passions because they also benefit from that. Besides, creative thinking skills are estimated as a crucial ingredient in work, therefore, who had accomplished courses with subjects they like often have more opportunities to get a good job by breakthrough thinking. Last but not least, whether they are the upper or the lower class in society, in addition to supplement about material, spirit is indispensable in demand of humans, subjects are related to art such as music, drawing or action also need to be encouraged.

However, there are other reasons to explain why students should concern to subjects involved to science or technology. Firstly, students easily access hot fields in the future depend on extensive knowledge which is covered by universities. Secondly, their quality of life is markedly improved through a high salary because jobs about studying science and technology are necessary in the 4.0 era. Finally, the government ascertains what sources of labor are vital to stimulate development country, therefore, through the universities to guide students to choose subjects useful in the future also a good way to solve knowledge and skill gaps on their doorstep.

In conclusion, I believe that in addition to forcing students to learn primary subjects, there are clearly further benefits when allowing them to comfortable choose what they like.

( 284 words )

• 
  huy.jpg
  

The prompt is asking you to discuss this from 2 public points of view and then from a personal point of view. You are not following the prompt format for the discussion so you will lose points for that. You turned the compare and contrast essay into a solely personal comparison essay, which is not what the instructions provides for the discussion.

This particular sentence is confusing. It does not make sense:

It is certainly true that allow students to choose comfortably their majors would rather than force them.

What happens when a student is forced to choose a course? What is the outcome when they study a course they like? The sentence needs a subject. It is confusing at the moment and I cannot even hazard to guess what you are trying to say. This will definitely pull down 2 scoring sections for you, the GRA and C&C sections.

Truth be told, the essay will fail due to a total lack of coherence in the presentation. Coherence is defined as an overall sense of understandability. The ideas you present have to fit together in the written context, so that the reader can understand what you are trying to say. The cohesiveness of the essay will also come from the coherence of the presentation and how it connects each sentence and paragraph to create a full and complete discussion. That does not exist in this essay so there is no way you will achieve even close to a passing score with this presentation. The C&C section will automatically fail the overall score.