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Outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computers



xuanthanh 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2020   #1

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment



while various individuals argue that children should go out to play instead of staying indoor to waste time on video games,a group of people stay in diametrical opposition. i will review both sides of the argument before giving my perspective that outdoor activities play an important part in stimulating mindset and improving social skills, we cannot definitely refuse the merits of video games

it is ot exaggerated to say that adventures from outside are deliberated as a key point in enhancing mental and physical health. Firstly, as playing with thier peers, the kids have the tendency to interplay and think more because eveything oustside is absolutely bizzare and different from things and furniture in their houses. whenever thay find anything is novel their brains can be optimum stimulated by curiosity. Secondly, sports unarguably deter adolescents from sedentary lifestyle. manifold activities as swimming, playing basketball will change their height, if their family genetic is short for example.

nevertheless, staying indoor and playing video games are never a bane ris kids spend time appropriately on them. when the weather rains heavily, it is a good choice for them to entertain. moreover, computer games involve numerous things and studies cannot be found in their inhabitats as the lifestyle in other countries or climate in other comtinents. Last but not least, playing games on computers is the fastest way to expose themselves to new digital gadgets because in the future various tasks and jobs is no longer use human labor and utterly subtituted by most advanced manchine

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Nov 14, 2020   #2
Pay attention to your word capitalization while writing. The first letter of the first word in every sentence is always capitalized. Your continued violation of this basic English writing rule will result in severe GRA points deductions for you. This error shows that you do not even care for the English writing rules, which means you are not capable of writing in an academic manner as required by UK, Canadian, and Australian universities.

Be clear about your prompt topic restatements. Never exaggerate. Always stay within rational discussion references. These are never debates or arguments. These are discussions, differing opinions, and opposing thoughts. The original prompt is simply asking you to agree or disagree with the statement. There is no need for a comparative discussion when it is not indicated in the original instructions. Just give your opinion directly and the 2 supporting reasons you will be using in the discussion. Do not deviate from the original discussion. That could result in the automatic failure of your essay. Why will the essay automatically fail? There are 2 points to consider.

The first failure point will be that you offered an opinion as required, but then used a comparative discussion. In which case, only the paragraph that relates to your opinion will be scored. Since the word count will be less than 250 words, as the other discussion point will not be considered a part of the writing, you will receive points deductions for the irrelevant discussion paragraph. Why? Your word count will come in under 250 words.

The second failure point, is that you will have proven to not have discussed the essay in the required format. In this case, it is a single point of view discussion, requiring 2 supporting reason paragraphs. You offered a comparative discussion with a personal opinion. A clear prompt deviation. You have not used the required format for the discussion. That shows how you lack English comprehension abilities. Hence, the failing score.


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