[IELTS WRITING TASK 1] An overview on how the island has changed in the aspect of tourist facilities

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps present an overview on how the island has changed in the aspect tourist facilities.
Overall, it can be deducted from a quick glance that a lot of tourist facilities, ranging from accommodation, operational buildings like a restaurant or a reception have popped up. Despite all of the man-made changes, a good job of preserving the natural features is noticeable.

The first thing that can be taken from the two maps is an enormous change in on-land buildings. Forming in groups in the left and middle part of the island are tourist housing. Between them lies a restaurant and a reception.

Footpaths and vehicle tracks form around those main buildings provide ways of traveling around the island. A pier has also been built in the small bay just on the bottom of the island

Third of all, besides from the beach being purposed as a swimming spot, the rest of the island, considering nature, remains unchanged.

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  the two maps
  

The immediate thing that hit me upon scanning this report is that the writer does not know how to count. He went from "The first thing" to "Third of all" without having passed through second. What happened there? I have not even considered the icorrect grammar references to the chronological order of the presentations at this point. That is another severe writing mistake that this writer cannot overcome. Was it a case of not proof reading the document before considering it final? This is why it is imperative that the writer's get into the habit of reviewing and editing their work before submission. Do not use all 20 minutes just writing, nor should one use less than 20 minutes and submit without reviewing the paper. These are the main reasons why the papers tend to get automatic failing scores. Some shortcomings in the presentation are just too obvious to ignore so proper deductions have to be applied.

The writer also does not use complete paragraphs for the later presentations. There are only 2 sentences written for some sections, which cannot be considered complete paragraphs since these do not have the mandatory 3-5 sentence requirement present. All combined, the essay is weakly written and shows that the writer is not capable of properly writing an academic paper in English.