Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Overwork and Stress - Cause and solution

Napoleon 1 / 2  
Jan 6, 2011   #1
In our modern, technological century, stress becomes a common experience for many reasons, such as: overwork, low salary, low position, no girl friend, boring life, love sick, not get on well with family, bad heath...Many people belive that modern work pattern are a source of stress. In my opinion, I strong belive that overwork is main reason for stress.

Employees nowday have to face up to much pressure-little time for too much work, too many difficult tasks given, and so forth. It causes many problems like: memory reducing, bad healthy, low efficiency, bad relationship..., as a results.

Scientific human resource management policies can take from this situation quiet effectively. I think the most obvious solution is for employers to encourage worker to relax. For instance, in some companies, gym facilities or massage therapies are available. As a result, this improves their efficiency and production.

A further step is to train employees in how to plan their time more effectively, for example, by stopping people taking work home. By doing this, they have more time for their family and the workplace wil become a lot happier.

Another possibility is to reduce the hours of work, so that it may not exceed the physical and psychological capacity of workers. This will lead to, employees will be more time for society activity such as shoping club, dancing club,... It makes their life more plentiful and them to enjoy life.

To sum-up, a certain level of stress is inevitable in today's workplaces but effective human resources policies can reduce it considerably.

OP Napoleon 1 / 2  
Jan 6, 2011   #2
Thank you very much for your comments. I already forgot to give the topic at the begin.
Topic: More and more people claim that modern work pattern are a source of stress. What do you think are the cause of this? Can you suggest some possible solution?

I think the main problem of modern work pattern is overwork, so I already give the thesis statement at the begin to restrict the cause and solution after.

The solutions, that I gave above, concentrate on the strategy human resource management so that why I wrote " Scientific human resource management policies can take from this situation quiet effectively"

If you were me, how would you expand the cause to not change the solution?
I Look forward to your reply
sharkondiet 3 / 22  
Jan 8, 2011   #3
Well, the point that I wanna make here is that you should lengthen your sentences so that the length of the "cause" paragraph may be commensurate with that of the "solution" one. I have tried to rewrite that paragraph without changing your ideas:

One of the possible explanation can be that nowadays, employees have to take on so much work. They have to strive hard to cope with deadlines and heavy workload. As a result, they cannot set aside any time for recreation or for their social life. This may also give rise to the mounting stress, which directly account for the deterioration in their health as well as in their productivity. Admittedly, there is beyond question why so many people claim that they are stiffled in the modern work pattern.

Connecting phrases and words like "one of the possible explanation" or "also"," admittedly", "as a result" etc. can help your ideas flow more smoothly as well as keep the sentences well-connected.

Hope this helps.

OP Napoleon 1 / 2  
Jan 21, 2011   #4
That's great. I am also impressive your nickname "Shark on diet".
Thank you very much for your help. (Lý Trương Thanh Tâm)

Home / Writing Feedback / Overwork and Stress - Cause and solution