Hi guys, this is my IELTS Writing Task 2 essay. It would be great if you could read it and give me some feedback! If possible, can you please give feedback according to IELTS' marking structure:
1. Task Achievement: Ideas, Addressing the Task, Conclusion, Developing Ideas.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Paragraphing, Linking and Referencing.
3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Sentence Structures, Tenses, Punctuation, Number of Errors
4. Lexical Resource: Vocabulary, Collocations, Spelling, Number of Errors.
If these criteria are too long that's okay haha, just getting your feedback is good for me already!
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Education has always been a hot topic for debate as students, parents, educators, and politicians argue for what they think is best. Some believe that families with children attending private schools should be relieved of their education-related taxes duty. Considering the ramifications of this proposed policy and the very purpose of taxes, I strongly disagree with this opinion.
First and foremost, taxes are created to support a society's well-being, of which public education is a grand pillar. It is essential to equip the young generation - the majority of which goes to public schools - with multifaceted, relevant, and practical knowledge if a country is to raise its living standard and economic strength. As a person or household choose to live in a community, they also choose to receive benefits from it and give back. Just as taxpayers contribute to the salaries of public sector workers, they also invest in young people who will become the labor force of a nation. Refusing to pay taxes for state education while still paying other taxes would be like expecting a police officer, whose service most people need, to appear out of nowhere and then start giving him salary. Evading just education taxes simply does not make sense.
If the option to also not pay other kinds of taxes also becomes available, then the problem will only further complicate. As families who choose private schools get allowed to skip on financially contributing to public education, other people will demand their rights to choose taxes they want to pay. Car drivers will refuse to pay for public transport, healthy people will refuse to pay for public healthcare, et cetera. This will result in difficult tax regulation, more red tapes, and social inequality in general. The current tax system of many countries are tailored to the needs of their citizens and policies of the governments, whose aim is to prevent this exact scenario from happening. While certain types of taxes - import-related tax and property tax for example - apply to specific individuals and organizations, general expenses for the society's development, which includes state education tax, should not be skipped.
To conclude, even though the choice of education still belongs to families, public education taxes should still be paid. Offering a choice to not contribute to public schools would bring about more drawbacks then benefits, and also ensuing numerous issues.
1. Task Achievement: Ideas, Addressing the Task, Conclusion, Developing Ideas.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Paragraphing, Linking and Referencing.
3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Sentence Structures, Tenses, Punctuation, Number of Errors
4. Lexical Resource: Vocabulary, Collocations, Spelling, Number of Errors.
If these criteria are too long that's okay haha, just getting your feedback is good for me already!
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
taxes should be paid
Education has always been a hot topic for debate as students, parents, educators, and politicians argue for what they think is best. Some believe that families with children attending private schools should be relieved of their education-related taxes duty. Considering the ramifications of this proposed policy and the very purpose of taxes, I strongly disagree with this opinion.
First and foremost, taxes are created to support a society's well-being, of which public education is a grand pillar. It is essential to equip the young generation - the majority of which goes to public schools - with multifaceted, relevant, and practical knowledge if a country is to raise its living standard and economic strength. As a person or household choose to live in a community, they also choose to receive benefits from it and give back. Just as taxpayers contribute to the salaries of public sector workers, they also invest in young people who will become the labor force of a nation. Refusing to pay taxes for state education while still paying other taxes would be like expecting a police officer, whose service most people need, to appear out of nowhere and then start giving him salary. Evading just education taxes simply does not make sense.
If the option to also not pay other kinds of taxes also becomes available, then the problem will only further complicate. As families who choose private schools get allowed to skip on financially contributing to public education, other people will demand their rights to choose taxes they want to pay. Car drivers will refuse to pay for public transport, healthy people will refuse to pay for public healthcare, et cetera. This will result in difficult tax regulation, more red tapes, and social inequality in general. The current tax system of many countries are tailored to the needs of their citizens and policies of the governments, whose aim is to prevent this exact scenario from happening. While certain types of taxes - import-related tax and property tax for example - apply to specific individuals and organizations, general expenses for the society's development, which includes state education tax, should not be skipped.
To conclude, even though the choice of education still belongs to families, public education taxes should still be paid. Offering a choice to not contribute to public schools would bring about more drawbacks then benefits, and also ensuing numerous issues.
