Most parents encourage their children to work for a couple of years before apply to the university

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this?

It is becoming increasingly common for people to study at higher education as soon as they graduated from school. Meanwhile, most parents encourage their children to work for a couple of years before apply to the university. I firmly believe that taking a particular job offers considerable experience for children, although this decision often has a few drawback.

Adolescent who resolves to get work before studying at the university tends to suffer from depression. It is because they are still immature to deal with a hard workforce. A team of Montana State University carried out research which involved two thousand juveniles in the United States, those taking a temporary job to prepare further education in the college. It found that one fifth of the volunteers acknowledged that they were difficult to adapt with a stressful atmosphere in the office. As a result, they frequently experienced emotional disorder and headache. All in all, deciding to work in the young age is potentially harmful for children's development.

On the other hand, there are a wide range of benefits if the young take up with a company before enroll to the campus. Firstly, they gain more valuable job experience early. It is imperative to prepare them become a professional labor in the future. When adolescents start building a career, they also become aware to manage their financial matter well. They have to account for their income and daily requirements exactly. In addition, they learn how to become more responsible for their life.

In conclusion, despite the fact that there are drawbacks to work in younger age, I believe that this action provides more valuable experience for children. Therefore, parents must concern in this case carefully.

before apply to the university ----> before applying to the university
considerable experience ----> valuable experience
Adolescent -----> Adolescents, tends ----> tend
, those taking a temporary job ----> , those taking a temporary job
The findings show that one-fifth of the volunteers found it difficult to adapt to a stressful atmosphere in the office
before enroll to the campus ------> before enrolling to the campus

hello! i have few comments and some synonyms, i hope it would be useful

... as they graduated from former school.

Adolescent who resolves to get workjob/occupation before studying at the university tends to suffer fromin depression. It is, because they are still immature ...

It found / reveals that one fifth of the volunteers ...