Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Essay IELTS Writing Part 2 about the provision of free-of-charge education of governments

Hai Nguyen 1 / -  
Sep 1, 2020   #1
Rubric: Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter waht financial background they have.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this contemporary era, tuition fees have been inexorably escalating, the affordability of higher education has always been a topic of interest. It could be argued that the regulatory authorities should abolish tuition fees so that all students could be entitled to attend tertiary education with a notion that their socio-economic background would not be an issue. Meanwhile this recommendation seems to be valid in a certain extent, I am somewhat convinced that waiving tuition fees could have an adverse bearing on both students and society.

On the one hand, my advocate for why the government should offer students a free-college policy could be attributed to plenty of compelling reasons. On the idividual level, a host of students are able to take advantage of the excellent quality of higher education. This renders those who are bachelor's degree holders, especially the underprivileged to stand a chance of landing higher-paid careers as well as bettering living quality. On the societal level, the provision of a free-of-charge education is expected to imply a more educated workforce, which would give rise to the world to evolve into being more and more civilized as well as thriving.

On the other hand, tuition waivers at the expense of beneficiaries as well. The labour market is more inclined to become drastically competitive. As a result, if there are multitudenous university graduates, the acquisition of a tertiary degree would not appear to give them multiple forms of employment. In addition to this, pursuing college without fees appears to be more detrimental to the growth and the expansion of society. The enormous cost incurred to cover the higher education tuition is going to pose a massive risk to government coffers, leading to an immense drain due to budget deficits, tax hikes or even worse, diminished welfare.

In conclusion, the provision of a free-of-charge education does not turn out to be a bad idea. Nevertheless, I would contend that governments should not make it free for everyone.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Sep 1, 2020   #2
Try to write within the 250-290 word count for this essay. You only have 40 minutes to complete your discussion and I am afraid that you will not have enough time to complete your writing in an actual test setting when you aim to write 327 words. You need to allot time for editing and improvements of your presentation. You cannot do that when you only focus on an increased word count. It will not work. Not within 40 minutes. As it is, this presentation has several spelling, cohesiveness, and coherence problems in the presentation that you failed to find and address during your writing process. Never write an essay and consider it complete and ready for scoring when you are done writing. That is only the start of the scoring process. You need to find your errors, correct them, or change them, just to make sure that you have the least errors left in the paper at the end of 40 minutes. That is how you score well.

You should avoid using the comparative presentation for this essay because you are asked to pick one side, agree or disagree, to give a measured response to. A comparative essay makes it appear as though you have not made a decision regarding an opinion to support, which will lower your TA score. You need to pick a side and clearly define your reasons for supporting it within 2 reasoning paragraphs. Although you gave a measured opinion in the paraphrase, your actual discussion does not support that stance so you may have a problem with your final score in the end based on the error in response format and other mistakes I pointed out earlier.
Tri Nhan 5 / 10  
Sep 2, 2020   #3
I think that you try to hook the examiner in the introduction, my buddy. But it is not worth to do that, you should make the body essay to become as clear as possible rather than spending too much time for your introduction.

Home / Writing Feedback / Essay IELTS Writing Part 2 about the provision of free-of-charge education of governments
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳