Unanswered [56] | Urgent [1]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Nowadays people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games

quynhanh200832 1 / -  
Nov 22, 2021   #1

the advantages and disadvantages of playing games

The positive alteration of technology has lead to an increase in the number of youngsters who are keen on playing video games. However, it also sparks bitter controversy between the advantages and disadvantages of this issue. In this essay, both of them will be discussed in detail.

First and foremost, it will be beneficial if children choose suitable subject for them. Indeed, there are available a wide range of vivid educational content that both disseminating knowledge and entertaining. For instance, in the chess game, offspring not only acquire vocabulary of pieces but also stimulate their desire for exploring strategies to become a victor. In addition, this game demands intense concentration and a long time, so it will train juniors the virtue of patience, remain calm under pressure so that your brain can work to its maximum.

Irrespective of the advantages, the drawbacks also exist. One of the most fearful demerits is the loss of social ability. Instead of a normal person who converses every day to integrate into society, poor communicators bring themselves to solitude. This habit is formed because they normally spend too much time on video games without communication. Those teenagers tend to avoid public events and enjoy working alone. If this concern goes on, they will have trouble on the daily basis. Take a case as an example, since my family and uncle family live in the same city, the favourable distance, so we often pay a visit to each other. Nevertheless, whenever I and my cousin have a talk, we are unable to maintain a topic of conversation, only enquire after one another, then hurriedly finish our conversation. Because he shows no interest in what I say, replies perfunctorily and superficially, so that make me unwanted to continue.

To summarise, playing video games will definitely bring either benefits or drawbacks. Therefore, kids should be under parental supervision within a more contained environment filled with family-friendly videos.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Nov 23, 2021   #2
The positive alteration

The techonology is not changing, which is the meaning of "alteration". Rather, the techonology is "developing" from the original state. Improvements are being made rather than changes (alterations). Word choice error. The sentences in this presentation are also a bit problematic in terms of time references. +S at the end of "lead" would have made the word usage more proper as it would inficate present tense or current time references.

Take a case as an example,

What case? If this is in reference to your family, then say "Take the case of my family for instance." The missing subject made the verb confusing to understand. The example does not relate to the way people access computers and video games. It is not convincing because it has not connected itself with the discussion basis. Insert the technological reference in the example as best as you can.

Home / Writing Feedback / Nowadays people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games
Writing Help?

Visit CustomPapers.com ◳

Visit GraduateWriter.com ◳
(GW10 - 10% discount!)