Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Many people argue that high income is far more essential than job happiness



Tnhuuu 1 / 1  
Sep 6, 2021   #1

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?



Nowadays, debate that many people are interested in is benefits of gap year for high school students can be argued that high income is far more essential than job happiness. However, I put forward the view that employees definitely succeed in life if they enjoy their jobs.

To begin with, it is sometimes thought by some that well-paid jobs certainly bring higher standards of living. To illustrate this point, they mention that well-earned workers are able to pay for their everlasting needs. For example, it is obvious that with high salary, employees are likely to live in even more modern apartments, travel by luxurious cars, as well as they afford to pay for expensive holidays on palm beaches in other countries.

However, it is more important for me to consider that being satisfied with our jobs is an extremely significant element to have a happy life. Undoubtedly, the most noticeable thing is that employees work more effectively providing that they enjoy what they do on daily basis. As a result, they are absolutely given both the promotion to higher positions, perks, and even regular increments or pension contributions together with medical insurance contributions.

Secondly, a noticeable aspect of this is that as long as workers enjoy their jobs, they definitely work under less stress. This means that he or she feels free with industrial diseases or repetitive strain injury, which are popular on press these days with high income workers. As a consequence, workers spend time enjoying completely their lives with themselves or families.

In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement for above-mentioned reasons. As far as I am concerned, individuals should look for steady jobs with a lot of securities to maintain the life positively.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Sep 8, 2021   #2
What does a gap year in high school have to do with the salary consideration topic? It appears the student has misrepresented the original promptand also, failed to respond to the discussion question. The TA score for this essay will be in the failing range due to the unrelated discussion presentation. There is no connection between a gap year and happiness based on salary. Was this a misunderstanding or did the student mix up the discussion prompts? Regardless, he already failed half of this essay test. Consider that the topic is :

BIG SALARY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN JOB SATISFACTION. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

There you restate the topic and give a response of:

Nowadays, debate that many people are interested in is benefits of gap year for high school students .... However, I put forward the view that employees definitely succeed in life if they enjoy their jobs.

See the discrepancy? There is no related discussion point.
OP Tnhuuu 1 / 1  
Sep 8, 2021   #3
@Holt oh, thanks for your answer l, I have a mistake there, how about "Nowadays, debate that many people are interested in is the comparison between high salary and job satisfaction..."
huyjunnie 4 / 11  
Sep 8, 2021   #4
Hi, I would like to give some feedback on your essay.
1. The first sentence of your introduction is lengthy and ambiguous. You should split it into simpler sentences.
2. I don't think the word "everlasting" can match with "need". "long-term" is far better.
3. as well as they afford --> redundant
4. Nowadays is a cliché that shouldn't be used in your essay.
Anyways, your grammar is actually fine. Hope you improve on your writing skills! ^^


Home / Writing Feedback / Many people argue that high income is far more essential than job happiness
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳