People argue if multiplayer sports are more beneficial than individual competition

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams

Taking part in sports has numerous benefits. However, there are two points of view are given about that. People argue about playing multiplayer sports like football or Individual sports such as swimming is better. In my opinion, I believe that both sports types can provide people with a variety of benefits and that they should choose the appropriate type of sport for them.

On the one hand, an advantage of team sports is that they can develop interpersonal skills for individuals. For example, football allows people to better understand and communicate with each other, which benefits them in the workplace. In addition, improving the sense of unity, and friendship between teammates makes them more responsible, and more enthusiastic when working.

On the other hand, playing individual sports like swimming or tennis also has its benefits. Individual sports provide more opportunities for people to improve their skills, such as emotion management or self-esteem. Because no one can assist single players during a match, they must work hard to overcome any setbacks they may face to achieve their goals. For instance, swimmers have to practice really hard to achieve high results like winning an Olympics medal.

In conclusion, both team sports and single one have their own benefits, people should choose the sport they are most interested in playing.

The writer has not written enough words to merit a passing score. At 217 words where 250 is the minimum consideration, the writer has not provided enough samples of his writing skills, logical thinking, and discussion abilities to convince the examiner that he can function in an English academic setting. The lack of proper English grammar, sentence formation, and understandable (not confusing) English sentences are highly evident in this essay, all of which will add to the reasons that the writer cannot be considered for a base passaing score.

The opening paraphrase alone contains several sentences of confusing thought presentations. My guess is, the writer is thinking in his native tongue and then translating it word for word in English, which is why some essential English words necessary for proper explanations are missing.

As far as the actual discussion is concencerned, the writer does not completely develop the dual aspect of the viewpoints to help clarify the public and personal opinions He is only explaining based on his own perceptions of the topic. It is this lack of dual sided considerations that also prevented him from achieving the word count requirement. If only writes from only a personal opinion perspective, the essay will be considered under developed and lacking in substance. It means the writer did not understand what discussion format and topic opinions should be present in the task.

The writer has good personal opinions but the essay demands more evidence of the validity of his opinion. Something that is achieved only be proving that the other side of the discussion, the public opinion as understood and explained by the writer, in comparison to his own. When a true comparison of opinions exist, the writing requirement has been met. That is not the situation in this case.