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IELTS TASK 2:Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people.


raulfanc 1 / 1 1  
Aug 15, 2013   #1
TOPIC: Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. What do you think? What other purposes of zoos?

Answer:
Zoo was considered as complex to only entertain people, which caused a heated debate over the world. Because, there is a growing tendency that zoo owns a variety of functions and benefits to animals in several ways. In this essay, I will give my opinions, and other values about zoos will be presented below.

Zoos indeed present a highlight to people, which means people there enjoy themselves through the elements which are provided by zoos. For example, there are numerous creatures existed which we just can understand them by browsing pictures and watching TV programmes, however, we can make the scene with loads of animals through visiting zoos. On the other side, it is an approach people can bring their kids to have a short-term tourist, children are keen on some kinds of animals, so they will satisfy with watching these activities of animals, such as elephants, lions and monkeys, etc.

Despite the entertainment, there are two main purposes of the zoo. Firstly, the zoo as a preservation area for endangered species, helping to protect a range of animals. Such as the South China tiger, they hard to survive since the range of their habitat had been narrowed, meanwhile the food supplies had been limited, and zoos breed them even in a confined capacity, rather than reintroducing them to natural home. Furthermore, another reason is acquiring knowledge, which means to understand animals more easily. For example, the teenager's awareness to protect animals can be improved after visiting, which leads to a positive cycle to benefit next generation of animals.

In general, as a commercial institution, zoos need to offset their daily payment by entertaining people, rather than only rely on government in grants. On top of that, zoos have played a significant role in preventing to extinction of species.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Aug 15, 2013   #2
First, please make sure that you post your IELTS essays to the Writing Feedback forum. (I moved this from Undergraduate ) to Writing Feedback.

Zoo was considered as a complex to only entertain people, which caused a heated debate over the world

...well.... this sentence does not sound very logical to me. I dobt there is such debate. Your prompt says how some people perceive the primary objective of a zoo and it does not talk about any other views. I feel you should stay within that scope.
OP raulfanc 1 / 1 1  
Aug 15, 2013   #3
Thanks for your feedback~
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Aug 16, 2013   #4
Zoos indeed present a highlight to people, which means people there enjoy themselves through the elements which are provided by zoos.

Zoos indeed is a great attraction to people. In other words, people gain lots of enjoyment by visiting zoos.

For example, there are numerous creatures existed which we just can understand them by browsing pictures and watching TV programmes, however, we can make the scene with loads of animals through visiting zoos.

.... you should have shortened this sentence to improve its clarity;
For example, people can enjoy the site of a large number of animals in the zoos and such enjoyment cannot be derived from watching TV programs or browsing pictures on the Internet.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Aug 16, 2013   #5
Firstly, the zoo as a preservation area for endangered species, helping to protect a range of animals.

First, the zoo protects endangered species helping the conservation efforts in that direction.

. Such as the South China tiger, they hard to survive since the range of their habitat had been narrowed, meanwhile the food supplies had been limited, and zoos breed them even in a confined capacity, rather than reintroducing them to natural home

... good example.... I never knew this before :)

Furthermore, another reason is acquiring knowledge, which means to understand animals more easily.

Another reason is that zoos enable people to acquire a more in depth knowledge about animals and their behavioral patterns by providing an excellent research environment.
congchop 7 / 14 2  
Aug 17, 2013   #6
I will rewrite your introduction as below:

A zoo is a facility in which animals are confined within enclosures and displayed to the public and in which they may also be bred. Some critics dispute that the purpose of the zoos is only for the entertainment of visitors. However, beside entertaining people, there are varieties of purposes as for conservation, research, as well as for education purposes.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Aug 17, 2013   #7
great advice congchop! :)

In general, as a commercial institution, zoos need to offset their daily payment by entertaining people, rather than only rely on government in grants

Your conclusion too needs to be aligned with your prompt. So you need to summarize what you discussed very briefly and the reinstate your position. You should not bring in points that were not discussed or that do not have a direct correlation to the topic. I think this conclusion is a bit out of topic.


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