Fitness in Australia
A glance at the bar chart provided reveals the proportion of people in Australia which had a physical exercise in 2010 with six various ages group and it was compared by gender.
Overall, it can be seen that exercise for females was considerably more common in most of the categories, except the first group which the percentage of men was higher than women, although in the old ages both of gender were approximately identic.
In 2010, teenagers had the highest percentages for men with 52.8%, whereas, with going up ages these activities had significantly decreased. the second ages group was 25 to 34 years old that the percentages of exercise for men were a mere 42.2 and in the next category, this amount had fallen by approximately 3% from 42.2 to 39.5. although, the middle age (45-54) had risen to reach 43.1 and this trend had continued to reach 46.7 for the last category (65 and over)
in 2010, physical activities for women in Australia had steadily increased. in the first category the female had just 47.7 and in three next categories, they had impressively soared to reach 53.3% that was the highest percentages for females, whereas, in two next ages group this trend had steadily fallen to reach 47.1 in the last category."which who had a physical ...
"except the first group": It makes me curious, what is "the first group". I think you should mention its name.
"in the old ages both of gender were": Do this sentence need a comma? Both genders?
I think that your writing is clear and detailed. You have also used rich and flexible vocabularies. Good job!
