This essay will elaborate on the reasons
This does not add clarity to your writer's opinion. Since you already gave the correct measured response in your presentation, you should follow it up with the correct summary of reasons that you will be presenting in your discussion paragraphs. These will comprise the expected thesis presentation for your opinion. Remember, it is important to give an overview of the succeeding discussions in the first paragraph so you can pick up the most points in the preliminary scoring section.
As a consequence
The term consequence denotes something negative. You need to change that to a positive since you are defending your point of view as the correct one. Avoid the use of negative words to support your opinion. You could lose points in the LR, GRA, and C+C sections.
Follow the correct spacing for your paragraphs. Always place at least one space between paragraphs to show where one paragraph ends and the next one begins.