Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree..



bestjery 2 / 4  
Jul 31, 2016   #1
Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Nowadays, a number of people are concerned about whether the governments should pay for healthcare and education fee for the citizens, I am of the opinion that government need to provide some financial supports for the citizens about medical insurance and education fee, but the citizens also need to pay little part of the money to relieve the government's economical pressure.

Some people believed that the healthcare and education system are basic needs for the public daily life.In other words, those system cost fee must payed by government, because they are view it as the infrastructure for their in the country.most people can not afford the cost by health problems especially some significant diseases which may cause broken for those families. in addition, accepting education for children is basic right, so the government obviously need to pay it.

Other people have the view that the government may not have enough budget to pay for it.That is because so much infrastructure need the government to deal with, such as building more public parks, hospitals and city roads.

So the public need to consider this and pay some money to lighten the government's burden.

To recap, although the governments need to take care of their people by provide financial assistances to help people in the country to overcome the health and education problems.That is not to say that the citizens do nothing, instead, they have the obligation to pay some fee to lighten the government's burden, by do so, we can make a better sustainable society for all of us.

quynh_12 4 / 5  
Jul 31, 2016   #2
Hi bestjery, here is my edit
those system cost fee must payed by government=> those fees should be paid by government
they are view it => they view it
the infrastructure for their in the country=> the necessary infrastructure in their country
... especially some significant diseases which may cause broken for those families=> what do you mean? most people can not afford the cost of treatment, especially some serious ones (is it right)

by do so=> by doing so

Well, your essay is quite clear but i think you should give more specific info to support both views and you should check your grammar before posting.

gook luck!!!!
OP bestjery 2 / 4  
Aug 1, 2016   #3
thanks for your advices, it it really helpful.
How to add specific info to support the views? can you could be more specific?
quynh_12 4 / 5  
Aug 1, 2016   #4
In the second paragraph, you should give a little detail such as a country can increasingly develop due to its citizens so that the healthcare and education problem should be the top priority. Therefore, from my point of view.......

About the third one, why don't you give a few solutions, an individual, instead of depending on government for healthcare and education, they should take health insurance and save up. in case of too poor one, she will be provided with subsidies by government.

I don't know whether it will help you or not, hope you will get a higher score!!
ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Aug 1, 2016   #5
Hi bestjery, welcome to EF Team! :)

With regards to your question, I would like to give some examples about how to give more specific info to support the views. You can see those examples in the detailed descriptions below.

- ...especially some significant diseases which may cause broken for those families. To illustrate, the government in Indonesia has a health-insurance system to cover most of the health problems of its citizens. As a result, government can help people who are infected by diseases for free without any additional charges.(the red sentences indicate "more specific info" needed to support the views)

As you can see, additional or specific info means that a well-developed example. It has to be clear for the reader or the examiner. Adding specific info would be beneficial towards your band score. You can get a high band score if you add specific details in your essay. Somehow, it also can be in the form of a research result or a survey result.

I hope this helps. I am waiting for the upcoming essay practice from you. Good luck for that :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree..
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳