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Task 2: Some people believe that governments should take large proportions of people's salary



Sachin341 2 / 3  
Feb 23, 2023   #1
Some people believe that governments should take large proportions of people's salary to develop public services, while others say that it is a bad thing.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion?



Some people say that the authorities should charge high taxes on the income of individuals for the development of basic facilities, whereas others believe it is not appropriate. Although I support heavy taxes because it will ease the economical burden of governments, high rates of taxes can result in more financial pressure on taxpayers.

Governments can use the collected tax money to construct and improve the fundamental infrastructure. Amenities such as rail networks, highways, and academic institutions require huge initial capital investments. Though governments hold billions of dollars in reserves, it is difficult for them to pay these enormous amounts alone. Therefore, support in the form of taxes paid by the citizens of a country can greatly lower the expenditure incurred by authorities. For example, Indians pay fifteen percent additional tax known as the "Education Cess" to reduce the total budget outlay of the government. However, I think that imposing high taxes is sometimes not suitable because this money can be easily misused by some politicians.

Large amounts of tax, on the other hand, can put unnecessary stress on a person by cutting down his savings. This is to say that a mediocre employee produces an average salary, and a little is left after further deductions of the basic expenses. Such savings will be nominal if there are large taxation rates. Furthermore, future planning, including investment for retirement, luxurious lifestyle, and children's higher education, would be impossible with limited savings. In Sweden, for instance, residents have to pay 57% of their remuneration as taxes, and due to that many Swedish people live under a huge debt of unpaid tax dues.

To conclude, increased taxes can aid the governing bodies financially by lowering their overall cost. Nevertheless, I believe that charging excessive taxes can depress individuals by reducing their important savings.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Feb 24, 2023   #2
This would have been a very good task 2 extent essay, if it was an extent essay. The problem is that the prompt requires a single opinion presentation that does not consider the other side of the discussion. Only a single opinion must be presented and supported by the writer's point of view. So using the comparative opinion presentation for your point of view was not the correct response format. Although, you did follow the correct format for the common opinion presentation. So, while there are some negatives in terms of scoring for that section, there are also some positives that just might save the starting score of this essay.

Another incorrect writing format can be found in the actual reasoning paragraphs. All of the discussions were presented in a general, personal point of view format. The writing requirement for the discussion is to show that you are discussing other people's opinions aside from yours. Therefore, the use of proper third person pronouns was in order. Without it, the comparisons provided do not reflect the public opinion or explanation, which is a required element of the GRA scoring section. There are 2 types of pronouns to be used in this presentation, the first person singular pronouns and the third person group pronouns.

While the essay presentation is strong, deductions need to be applied for the areas where it comes across as weak, mostly in relation to prompt discussion compliance and GRA expectations. Good effort though. Your work shows a potential to pass this test in a better than average manner. Provided you learn how to correctly present your discussion paragraphs.
aurangzaib517 1 / 2  
Feb 24, 2023   #3
@Sachin341

The task response to the said topic is incomplete.

Firstly, it does not clearly indicates your point of view regarding the agreement or disagreement to the any of the stance made herein the questions.

Secondly, the coherence and cohesion is not used significantly.
Lastly, there should be at least 2 idioms in each of the essay to avail high scores.

Overall, it is 6.5 band essay.
OP Sachin341 2 / 3  
Feb 24, 2023   #4
@Holt
Thanks for feedback, I'll look forward to correct my mistakes.


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