Some people believe that the salary plays the most vital role when opting for a job

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. Do you agree or disagree?

Decisions on opting for a job are affected by several factors among which some people believe that the salary plays the most vital role. While I agree that the earnings are necessary, I have to support the idea that there are more to deciding on a career than money.

On the one hand, it is essential for people to have a certain amount of money, which could help cover their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for our bills, staples, education, healthcare, housing; if therefore, a job could not ensure our minimum income, we would soon feel unmotivated to continue. In addition to that, if people choose a job based on non-financial factors, such as passion, interest, they will have no means to support themselves. Artists, for instance, who follow career paths that they are passionate about, hardly lead a life of comfort or raise their families.

On the other hand, when deciding on a job, several factors are equally or even more important than the economic facet. Firstly, relationships and working environment are worth considering since coordinating with supportive managers, and amiable colleagues will result in employees' high levels of happiness and performance. Secondly, many people derive their sense of satisfaction from professional accomplishments, such as a set of skills and knowledge they learn, or the position they reach. Once they are sent to a higher post, their income without too much intention will be multiplied. Eventually, some people choose an occupation that helps others living in less privileged condition or contribute to society.

In conclusion, even though money affects a person's decision on a job, I do not believe it is not the most vital factor.

There is actually a direct question being asked in the essay. The question that was asked is what dictates the reasoning paragraphs of the essay. It shows the path that the discussion presentation should take. The question is, do you agree or disagree? There are only 2 choices provided for your discussion response. You cannot use an agreement and a disagreement at the same time in your discussion. That is what you did when you said that you agree but support the idea that. As far as the examiner will be concerned, you just proved that you are incapable of making a clear decision and supporting it. It's either you agree or you disagree. You cannot do both. The format for this essay is not a comparison paragraph presentation. It is a single opinion defense presentation. No comparisons. You will have a difficult time reaching a passing score with this undecided type of presentation. While your discussions are clear and you have limited errors present, the fact that you did not properly format the discussion for the essay, as per the instruction requirement, will prevent this from achieving an acceptable band score.